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Most recent 19 results returned for keyword: dan savage (Search this on MAP)

https://plus.google.com/115274517334998896637 Julie Brackin : With the finale of How I Met Your Mother recently, I've been thinking about this notion that there is...
With the finale of How I Met Your Mother recently, I've been thinking about this notion that there is someone out there for everyone. Not necessarily a predestined soul mate, but the ability to find a partner who is right for you, if that is what you want in life. And I have complicated feelings about this idea, so I'm interested in other people's take on it.

Nearly every person who is single, at one time or another, has heard from their happily coupled friends that "you just haven't met the right person yet" - the assumption being, of course, that there is some "right" person out there for everyone, you just have to find them (and also be in the right emotional place to make a successful commitment to them). But then there is the opposite perspective that some people are, in fact, "unlovable" in the sense that they will never, whether out of bad luck or otherwise, find a partner and will remain alone for their whole lives. Dan Savage advocates for this perspective, arguing that only when you give up on the notion that you could find a lasting partnership can you start to invest in yourself and your life and figure out what makes you happy outside of romantic love.



While I don't think either perspective is completely right or wrong, I am irked by Savage's opinion. I feel like it's problematic in a couple regards. One, there is this assumption that if you are unhappily single and want to find a partner, you are somehow neglecting the rest of your life and relationships by focusing exclusively on your desire to obtain romantic love. I totally disagree. I'm a perfectly good example of this: I would like to get married and have a family one day, but I have a very rich life outside of that goal. I dance, sing in a choir, just finished a graduate degree, have a vibrant social life, volunteer for several organizations, and generally have a rich, full life. But I am also single and have been for several years. I am not happy about this. I have many people in my life who I love very much and who also love me, but I feel like a complete failure when it comes to romantic relationships. I have wondered recently if giving up and resigning myself to being alone for the rest of my life might bring me a measure of solace. But doing so doesn't sit well with me, not merely because I hope that is not the case. It bothers me because I know that it is actually a really counter-productive way for me to "protect" myself from the risk and potential pain of opening myself up to another person. It would be allowing myself to shut down emotionally and lose the things I value about myself: my openness, my trust, my ability to be hopeful. I don't think this is healthy at all; it's a maladaptive coping mechanism for a situation that feels heartbreaking. And moreover, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, for how can you love and be loved when you preemptively decide that you are, in fact, unlovable?

This is something I have been struggling with a lot recently. I feel unlovable. And I don't know if that feeling is just a fear that is so strong, I have made it into a reality - or if it really is who I am. What do you guys think about this idea that there is or is not someone out there for everyone (provided you want to be in a partnership)? Do you think there are "unlovable" people, and that Dan Savage's perspective has merit?

ETA: This isn't meant to be a whingey post about my romantic troubles, just a conversation about this notion of "lovability," something I've been thinking about a lot recently.
6 67Reply
SleepyJean’s DiscussionsAll replies

nullSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:46pm
Honestly? I don't think you should spend time even thinking about this, because it will lead to anxiety and stress. This isn't a question anyone can answer definitively, as answering it would require the knowledge of the whole of human experience and history. You really would have to be omniscient to come up with any kind of useful argument. And all that said, why waste your time?

Dan Savage is sort of abrasive but the truth of the matter is that the more people obsess over stuff like this and constantly wring their hands because they haven't found anyone the less anyone wants to date them. Spend your time finding ways to be okay with yourself, bettering yourself, and learning to live with yourself. Eventually things fall into place. And I say this as someone who has been single for a while.
19Reply

PlantinMoretusSleepyJean
4/16/14 10:53am
I find it interesting that when this topic comes up (being single, never marrying, etc) people go straight towards an explanation that focuses on the individual. Trying too hard, not hard enough, not loving yourself enough, and so on. Rarely does anyone look at the bigger social, economic, etc factors.

The single-person household is the fastest-growing household type in Western industrialized countries (and a few others besides). The nuclear family is in the minority in many places. The online dating industry is worth over $1B worldwide. There are hundreds of millions of single people in the West and most of them would like to find a life partner, but they haven't. Why?

It's simply way too widespread to be down to just individual choices and circumstances. The economist Rick Wolff has some interesting theories about this, that when capitalism needed a supply of workers, the institution of the family was supported by society through various social norms, government policies, etc., because that's how workers got produced. But due to technology and other reasons, the economy doesn't need so many workers anymore, and so the family falls by the wayside. It does need consumers, however, and single-person households consume more than family households. (One toaster per person instead of one per family, and so on.) Even better if you can turn dating into a profit-making enterprise as well.

Notice that the major TV shows of the 1950s through the 1970s were generally focused on a family, Leave it to Beaver, Happy Days, Brady Bunch, etc. By the 1990s we had Seinfeld, Friends, Sex and the City - shows with friendships at the core and families barely in sight (and when a family member did show up, they were nearly always very dysfunctional). Now with TV being full of vampires and zombies (as far as I can tell since I watch very little of it anymore).... I don't know what that means for society but it probably isn't good.

tl;dr It's not you.
19Reply

FluterDaleSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:27pm
I think Dan Savage is trying, in a very Dan Savage way, to encourage people to find the space you are describing: you will be ok, and have had a fulfilling life, if your ultimate goals of marriage and family are not met. Dan's a ... bit of a negative extremist (like myself), and this is probably how he'd talk to himself.

I do think there's some merit in focusing on yourself, rather than on finding someone else. Being ok with who you are and where you are in life is ... more attractive to most people than not being ok with those things. It makes it possible to stand back and evaluate failed romances. To evaluate reasons you may have helped those romances to fail. (I don't know you - I'm not saying you killed love. Just that I know a lot of people - myself, included - who have helped put romances out of their misery by poor in-love behavior.)

I think there are plenty of somebody's out there for everybody. Provided they are willing to be reasonable about dealbreakers. Provided they are willing to be reasonable about in-relationship behaviors. Provided they are not living in a remote area of the world. The idea of one person per person is damaging. It's too much pressure!

I have more thoughts, but I'm starting to make myself feel barfy. Don't be sad. Some peopel suck, but the only person who is unlovable is Dan Savage. And that's mostly to himself. (Hi, Dan! Big fan!)
10Reply

SleepyJeanFluterDale
4/14/14 4:34pm
Yeah, I think I get where he is coming from, it's just that negative extremity that maybe puts me off. I really think that when you resign yourself to being unlovable, you sort of shut that door on your own. I totally think there is merit to focusing on yourself and finding other ways to make yourself happy, but I also know that simply doing so is no guarantee that you will meet someone and be able to have a lasting relationship. I also think there is merit in acknowledging that if those goals of marriage and family aren't met, you can still be happy, but you might always struggle with a feeling of lack in your life. It's almost like finding out you are infertile - you can certainly go on to have a very fulfilling life, but you might always feel the dull ache of not having something you wanted very much. And that's ok. It doesn't mean you are weak or pathetic or not strong enough. It just means you're human.
1Reply

FluterDaleSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:36pm
I think I agree with you about the idea of resignation ... I just don't think Dan Savage is the greatest person to be taking advice about feelings from. (He's good for sex! He says and does lots of wonderful things about sex!)

I've read a lot of his columns and a few of his books. He seems like a perfectly functional human being, but I don't know if his mentality about the non-sex aspects of relationships is really one I'd want my friends and loved ones to internalize.
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token_liberalSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:30pm
I didn't get married until later in life (42) and I did wonder a lot if I was unlovable and had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be alone the rest of my life. It was only when I stopped really loathing myself that I was able to start dating again and be ok with getting rejected and allowing myself to reject others. It takes time and a lot of trial and error to find somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with and the process sucks sometimes.
2Reply

SleepyJeantoken_liberal
4/14/14 4:36pm
I am lucky that I have such amazing friends, so I am not completely isolated. I'm glad that things got better for you and that you stopped loathing yourself. That's such a terrible way to live, isn't it?
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token_liberalSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:39pm
It's terrible and the worst thing is that it's mostly self inflicted.
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icantremembermylastnameSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:29pm
I was really unhappy and looking for a partner and I really did forget about every other aspect of my life. So in some respect Savage is right. He isn't right for all the people, but for some he is spot on.
1Reply

icantremembermylastnameicantremembermylastname
4/14/14 4:33pm
To continue, because I accidentally published, I don't think that necessarily makes someone unlovable. I'm just not sure about anything anymore though. :/ (spoken as a fellow person who totally feels unlovable)
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SleepyJeanicantremembermylastname
4/14/14 4:38pm
Yes, I do think some people neglect the rest of their lives and his advice to focus on yourself and your other relationships is totally sound. I just struggle with this notion of giving up - does it really bring solace, or does it just shut you off from the possibility of connecting with other people? I rationally don't believe in the concept of an unlovable person - even people with deep, nearly-insurmountable character flaws have people who love them - but it's hard not to let the feels take over.
1Reply

badmuthaSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:44pm
I do not agree with the concept that some people are unlovable. Donald Trump has been married many times, and his wives have professed to loving him, which to my rational mind sounds impossible. There are some pretty amazing people out there who are single and just not dating right now. There are also lots of coupled up assholes. Just being in a relationship doesn't reflect lovable-ness, in my view.
2Reply

icantremembermylastnameSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:52pm
Oh I gave up and it definitely made me happier. But that was only a week or two ago, so maybe in the long run it wont - only time will tell. However, I don't think that you should equate giving up with believing yourself unlovable. Giving up for me was just an acknowledgment that whatever it is that I've been doing hasn't worked (obviously) and isn't worth the effort so I just wanted to go enjoy my life again, not waste it looking for someone that I apparently can't find. It's a small difference. I totally feel unlovable, but I believe I am lovable, just that I can't find that person and am not going to enjoy life if I spend it looking for that person. I just want to be happy, and giving up to find out what I still enjoy about life seems to have worked (mostly).
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SleepyJeanicantremembermylastname
4/14/14 4:59pm
I'm glad that shifting your perspective in that way has brought you more happiness. I think a big part of this is just about letting go - of expectations and timelines and pressure - and just be present with your life as it is. I'm working on this (I find meditation has helped a lot) and when I am able to just be present, I do find I am a lot happier and more grounded.
1Reply

SleepyJeanbadmutha
4/14/14 5:37pm
Well, I definitely agree that being married/coupled certainly isn't an indication that you've got shit figured out, that's for sure!
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PyraxSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:32pm
I don't think unloveable people exist. We forget when we get stuck in where we are, who we know, that there are literally billions of people on this planet that we've never met and will never meet if we stay doing what we're doing where we are. I have a friend that wants to be in a relationship and is single. Every day he goes to the same classes, the same part time job,and then hangs out with his all-male friend group that he's known for a decade. For all he knows, the "right person" is outside walking her dog past his place at 8PM, but he's doing the same thing he does every night with people he has no romantic interest in so he never notices.

I think it's possible for a perfectly fine person to be unable to find love in their immediate vicinity doing what they're ding, and often that amounts to the same thing - if you can't afford to or don't want to move, and can't find the things that will cause you to meet new people where you are, then you may feel like you have no chance.
2Reply

SleepyJeanPyrax
4/14/14 4:45pm
There are so many factors that go into finding someone you can connect with and forge a partnership with. One of those factors is just sheer dumb luck. I sometimes think about the balance that you need to strike between believing in love and being hopeful that any day you could meet and connect with a great person, and also not getting hung up on that happening and expending a lot of energy over it. But even when you put yourself out there and actively try to meet new people, you can still struggle a lot to make connections. And that's where I wonder what's really going on. Rationally, I don't believe in the existence of truly unlovable people, but sometimes it feels like such a struggle and when you hear "You're great, but there's something missing" enough times, you really start to wonder...well, what is missing?
2Reply

The Real UnsharerSleepyJean
4/14/14 4:35pm
I think that it's one thing to feel that one's life is defined by one's relationships and only find happiness when one is in a relationship. It's quite another to just want to find romantic love and a partner.

If one only finds happiness when in a relationship and defines his/her life on whether he/she is in a relationship, then I would consider that at least a bit unhealthy. In a case like that, I'd agree with Dan Savage in that the person needs to invest in himself/herself to find things that bring them joy outside of relationships.

I was like this once. I defined my life and my success on whether or not I was in a relationship and considered my life a failure if I wasn't. It wasn't until I went to therapy that I started to move away from this view and move more towards the "I do want to find love and find a partner, but I don't need those things to be happy" camp.
1Reply

SleepyJeanThe Real Unsharer
4/14/14 4:48pm
It's an interesting balance. I totally agree that defining yourself completely by your relationship status is unhealthy. But I also think that, in my experience, so much of the richness of my life comes from the people in it and the relationships I have with them. I'm including all my relationships in that accounting, though: family, friends, colleagues, and partners. I think it's just about broadening your perspective and seeing that romantic love is only one kind of love. On the other hand, though, familial and platonic love, though important, is qualitatively different than romantic love and one kind of love can't replace the other. If I were in a romantic relationship, but had no friends, I would probably be just as unhappy. Maybe I'm greedy, I just want all the love!
1Reply

The Real UnsharerSleepyJean
4/14/14 5:02pm
It's interesting to be sure. I do define my life in part based on my relationships, but not just romantic ones. I want to be a good, kind, and loving person towards those in my life, and I do judge myself on whether or not I'm that kind of person.

I will say, however, that my planning in preparation of being a life-long bachelor has been upended because I fell in love with an amazing woman. While my life and happiness aren't defined by this new relationship, I can't say that it doesn't add to my happiness quite a bit :)
2Reply

car54SleepyJean
4/14/14 4:34pm
I'm not sure I'd classify it as unloveable, but I do believe there are people who do not or will not have a major adult relationship in their lives. I'd say I am one of them. I have a lot of mixed issues relating to being with other people that have made me not seek that out, I think that is different than wanting it and not finding it.
2Reply

SleepyJeancar54
4/14/14 4:49pm
Yes, I do think there is a difference between someone who does not want a relationship of that nature and someone who does, but is unable to find it. If you feel comfortable sharing, may I ask why you choose not to pursue that kind of relationship?
1Reply

car54SleepyJean
4/14/14 4:57pm
I think for me, most close relationships I've had have been unsatisfying or in some cases there have been trust issues, and at some point in my adult life, I decided that it was easier to not have that in my life. Some of that has to do with my own feelings about myself, and some of it has to do with how I've related to others most of my life. At some point I realized I just don't have that in me—and putting myself in situations with others that involve a lot of emotion or feelings is not the best thing for me—it always has been very uncomfortable for me.

A lot of it has to do with more my own issues and expectations of others, than with the other people, but for me, once I came to that place, I have been more at peace and less sad or depressed. I try to take care of my own needs the best I can—I realize a lot of other people looking at my life would not understand the choices I've made, but for me it's been better since I came to that place and made that choice.
Reply

SleepyJeancar54
4/14/14 5:08pm
Thanks for sharing. There is something liberating about coming to that kind of realization. It's not quite the same thing, but I recall being a teenager and having this revelation that I was different from the "cool" kids and I would never be like them, and that was ok, so I could just stop trying so hard to be something I was never going to be and embrace who I actually am. It was incredibly freeing. I don't feel liberated about giving up on romantic relationships, though, so that's where we might differ. I haven't really come to terms with that possibility and I don't know if that's because I'm just not ready to accept that reality.
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car54SleepyJean
4/14/14 5:21pm
Well that's ok too. I had a pretty hard childhood that did quite a bit of damage to me in how I relate to people, and it's always been that way—as far back as I can remember. Having a relationship usually is more painful for me than not having one. It's really that simple now.

You sound like you are living a good life and have many positive things in it, including people who you care for and who care for you—so it may just be that you indeed have not found the right person for you.
I have a fairly close acquaintance who found someone online—he lived in another state—and married him after an online/long distance courtship—they had very little (from the outside) in common—and if not for the internet, probably would never have come into contact with each other. He was younger than her, had a blue-collar job, she had an executive position, had several past relationships but nothing had ever "stuck" and I am not sure she felt like she'd ever marry.

She married him in her mid-forties, and immediately got pregnant—a total surprise for them—they had only been married a few weeks—and now they have a very sweet little girl—at almost 50. So things happen. It seems like if you want it, and you stay open to it, and seek it out in some ways, I would not put it out of range. But I also think it's very important to make your peace with where you are as well—to find it in how you live and what you do the best you can.
10 hours ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/102729187114991536903 AS club : Watch Do I Sound Gay? Online 2015 Film Do I Sound Gay?(2015 film): Journalist David Thorpe confronts...
Watch Do I Sound Gay? Online 2015 Film
Do I Sound Gay?(2015 film): Journalist David Thorpe confronts his anxiety over sounding gay by talking to LGBT icons like Dan Savage and George Takei, and exploring the cultural history of the gay voice in film and television. IMDb Rating: 4.5/10 Release da...
Watch Do I Sound Gay? Online 2015 Film | Watch Online HD Movies | ASclub
Do I Sound Gay?(2015 film): Journalist David Thorpe confronts his anxiety over sounding gay by talking to LGBT icons like Dan Savage and George Takei, and exploring the cultural history of the gay voice in film and television. IMDb Rating: 4.5/10. Release date: July 10, 2015 (USA) ...
19 hours ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/117487606620207509604 Mark Bellis : Dan Savage, c. 1998 Sex columnist Dan Savage signed book I gave to a woman "Mark gave you this lovely...
Dan Savage, c. 1998
Sex columnist Dan Savage signed book I gave to a woman "Mark gave you this lovely book. What have you done for him lately?"
Dan Savage, c. 1998
Sex columnist Dan Savage signed book I gave to a woman "Mark gave you this lovely book. What have you done for him lately?"
1 day ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/104548823657171558119 Varguennes : You can always count on bigots to take widespread social issues like homophobia and reframe it to say...
You can always count on bigots to take widespread social issues like homophobia and reframe it to say that THEY’RE the ones being discriminated against. A ridiculous video recently created by conservative nonprofit Catholic Vote is no different, and it serves as a “coming out” of all religious homophobes.

Edited in a similar style that mirrors Dan Savage’s 2010 “It Gets Better” LGBT campaign, young Catholic adults sit in front of the camera, tears brimming in their eyes as they tell viewers how hard it is to be a bigot in today’s world, all while offering encouragement to their fellow God-fearing homophobes that one day they will be accepted for who they are. You can watch this monstrosity, titled “Not Alone,” below:

“I know a lot of people who are gay. I have friends who are gay; I don’t fear them, you know? They’re wonderful people. I love them. What I do feel insecure about is speaking from the heart, and being really open and honest about what I believe.”

Another woman talks about how frightening it is to be in a minority that discriminates against love:

“I am a little bit nervous about people hearing that I am this way and thinking, ‘She’s not welcome here.'”

Another admits:

“I’ve tried to change this before, but it’s too important to me.”

This disgraceful film is making its rounds all over the Internet, but it’s fortunately getting more backlash than support. Judging by those reactions and the Supreme Court’s recent legalization of gay marriage across 50 states, it’s NOT going to get better for homophobes — and that’s a really good thing.
Bigot Christians Cry About How Hard It Is To Be Homophobic In Their Own ‘It Gets Better’ Video (VIDEO/TWEETS)
This is an insult to all LGBT youth and their allies.
3 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/114236139456600439625 Italo Perazzoli : On the latest NYPL Podcast, Dan Savage discussed moralism, marriage, monogamy and much more: http://...
On the latest NYPL Podcast, Dan Savage discussed moralism, marriage, monogamy and much more: http://on.nypl.org/1NbQFvD
Podcast #66: Dan Savage on Monogamy
Dan Savage is one of the most intelligent, mordant, and deliciously fun voices discussing sex, relationships, and identity today. An advice columnist, activist, and author, Savage has written six works of nonfiction and created the It Gets Better Project, a nonprofit aimed at preventing suicide amongst LGBT youth.
5 days ago - Via Reshared Post - View -
https://plus.google.com/106728827714050136147 LeerRosh : This is going to be a long one, so hold on tight.  I expect most of you will absolutely despise me after...
This is going to be a long one, so hold on tight.  I expect most of you will absolutely despise me after this, and if that is you, I don't need to hear your last minute replies, you will be a person with whom I will not concern myself with.

So I have grown tired, and appalled, at the celebration of the loss of my country.  A country needs a foundation to stand, and that foundation is, namely, the family.  The family is the backbone of any nation.  And while that foundation has been weakening, as more and more kids grow up without a fair family, with parents who don't care about their kids, and have kids for purposes other than loving them...the United States has had a family problem.

And now, it doesn't even recognize what a family is anymore.  This past Friday, as you all well know, our country decided to eliminate it's own cornerstone.  The family was slaughtered, replaced by a "do-whatever-you-want" attitude, with the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage.

Now before you go calling me a homophobe, or whatever hideous, disgusting words escape your mouth, let me assure you I am none of those things.  I have friends, and coworkers, who identify as such, and I have no problems or qualms with them.  I do not, however, agree with their decisions, and they know that.

Do you know what this Skittles crap on Facebook is?  Its a declaration of war.  Its calling me out to fight the battle, because this cornerstone in my life is threatened.  When God comes to judge this country, like he has so many times before, this time...our whole country is celebrating the fact that we just gave him the middle finger.

The heck is wrong with this country anymore?  This was the last place you could feel safe, and that place is gone now.  Do you really think this decision was about gay "marriage?"  Of course it isn't.  This was a war against Christ, and we are losing.

I will not back down and refuse to speak out anymore.  I have sinned.  I have done tons of things I regret that were horribly wrong.  I still do things wrong.  But I sure don't celebrate them.  I sure as heck sit there and regret it and work out a solution to ending them.

This isn't progression people.  This is regression, back to the days when all people wanted was freedom from Rome.  And God didn't grant them what they wanted, he gave them what they needed.

I don't know what we need.  But it sure isn't celebration.

A transcript from Matt Walsh from The Blaze, that should sum up why I feel this way:

"Why do you think liberals care so much about this? If it doesn’t matter, why have they dedicated years to bringing about this past Friday? Because they want gay people to love each other? Nonsense. There was never any law preventing any gay person from loving anyone or anything. The State never had any interest in encouraging, preventing, or otherwise regulating love. The State does have an interest in the foundation of civilization, which is the family. That’s why, up until recently, it recognized True Marriage.

Gay marriage is not an essential or true institution, nor does it serve any real purpose in society. There’s no practical or moral reason for the romantic lives of homosexuals to be recognized or elevated or protected in any way. Even most homosexual activist know this, despite pushing for gay marriage. Gay couples in many cases aren’t monogamous, and gay activists like Dan Savage have been very enthusiastic in extoling the virtues of open relationships and fornication.

This whole gay marriage debate is about opening up the lifelong monogamous bond of matrimony to a community that often doesn’t desire a lifelong monogamous bond. Do you understand what’s going on here? They don’t want marriage as it currently is; they want to change it into something else.

Recently a lesbian activist told an audience of supporters that the fight for gay marriage is a “lie” and that the institution of marriage simply shouldn’t exist. According to her, this really is about destroying marriage, not participating in it. How many times do they have to come out and say it themselves before you understand?"

Yes people, how long is it going to take.

Til Judgment day comes I think.
6 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/102419001651379931426 Yoshi Kant : Homophobes might be actually be secretly gay Joe Rogan made a joke that hammered home a point about ...
Homophobes might be actually be secretly gay
Joe Rogan made a joke that hammered home a point about homophobes which seems to have, at least to some degree, a substantial backing in evidence according to SecularTalk  and Dan Savage. People carrying malicious hatred for another group of people seem to ...
Homophobes might be actually be secretly gay

7 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/113912678083860022609 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST : Geraldo Lashes Out At Dan Savage For Daring To Criticize Fox News
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Geraldo Lashes Out At Dan Savage For Daring To Criticize Fox News - The Frisky
Geraldo told Savage,
8 days ago - Via - View -
https://plus.google.com/101445664827780924504 Matthew McQuilkin : I came out at 20. Went to Pride alone my first few years. Was a virgin until I was 28. I even used to...
I came out at 20. Went to Pride alone my first few years. Was a virgin until I was 28. I even used to hate Dan Savage (he got better).

Now I've been for-real married for two years and just had the longest, most social Pride weekend with more friends than ever before in my life. What a difference a couple of decades make.

❤️❤️

#seattlepride
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-Jt-fYtLIEYY/VZDDgmdR-8I/AAAAAAAAUhQ/7NKJQ-uwhbw/w506-h750/15%2B-%2B1
8 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/105358234044782953403 Ryan Sexton : We were warned this would happen at the very end times. Luke 21:12 " But before all these things, they...
We were warned this would happen at the very end times.

Luke 21:12 " But before all these things, they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons. You will be brought before kings and rulers for My name’s sake"...

Mark 13:9-11 “But watch out for yourselves, for they will deliver you up to councils, and you will be beaten in the synagogues. You will be brought before rulers and kings for My sake, for a testimony to them. And the gospel must first be preached to all the nations. But when they arrest you and deliver you up, do not worry beforehand, or premeditate what you will speak. But whatever is given you in that hour, speak that; for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit."

Some of this is happening all over the world now and I expect it to happen on a much larger scale here real soon.


Orthodox Christians Must Now Learn To Live as Exiles in Our Own Country
http://time.com/3938050/orthodox-christians-must-now-learn-to-live-as-exiles-in-our-own-country/

No, the sky is not falling — not yet, anyway — but with the Supreme Court ruling constitutionalizing same-sex marriage, the ground under our feet has shifted tectonically.

It is hard to overstate the significance of the Obergefell decision — and the seriousness of the challenges it presents to orthodox Christians and other social conservatives. Voting Republican and other failed culture war strategies are not going to save us now.

Discerning the meaning of the present moment requires sobriety, precisely because its radicalism requires of conservatives a realistic sense of how weak our position is in post-Christian America.

The alarm that the four dissenting justices sounded in their minority opinions is chilling. Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Antonin Scalia were particularly scathing in pointing out the philosophical and historical groundlessness of the majority’s opinion. Justice Scalia even called the decision “a threat to democracy,” and denounced it, shockingly, in the language of revolution.

It is now clear that for this Court, extremism in the pursuit of the Sexual Revolution’s goals is no vice. True, the majority opinion nodded and smiled in the direction of the First Amendment, in an attempt to calm the fears of those worried about religious liberty. But when a Supreme Court majority is willing to invent rights out of nothing, it is impossible to have faith that the First Amendment will offer any but the barest protection to religious dissenters from gay rights orthodoxy.

Indeed, Chief Justice Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito explicitly warned religious traditionalists that this decision leaves them vulnerable. Alito warns that Obergefell “will be used to vilify Americans who are unwilling to assent to the new orthodoxy,” and will be used to oppress the faithful “by those who are determined to stamp out every vestige of dissent.”

The warning to conservatives from the four dissenters could hardly be clearer or stronger. So where does that leave us?

For one, we have to accept that we really are living in a culturally post-Christian nation. The fundamental norms Christians have long been able to depend on no longer exist. To be frank, the court majority may impose on the rest of the nation a view widely shared by elites, but it is also a view shared by a majority of Americans. There will be no widespread popular resistance to Obergefell. This is the new normal.

For another, LGBT activists and their fellow travelers really will be coming after social conservatives. The Supreme Court has now, in constitutional doctrine, said that homosexuality is equivalent to race. The next goal of activists will be a long-term campaign to remove tax-exempt status from dissenting religious institutions. The more immediate goal will be the shunning and persecution of dissenters within civil society. After today, all religious conservatives are Brendan Eich, the former CEO of Mozilla who was chased out of that company for supporting California’s Proposition 8.

Third, the Court majority wrote that gays and lesbians do not want to change the institution of marriage, but rather want to benefit from it. This is hard to believe, given more recent writing from gay activists like Dan Savage expressing a desire to loosen the strictures of monogamy in all marriages. Besides, if marriage can be redefined according to what we desire — that is, if there is no essential nature to marriage, or to gender — then there are no boundaries on marriage. Marriage inevitably loses its power.

In that sense, social and religious conservatives must recognize that the Obergefell decision did not come from nowhere. It is the logical result of the Sexual Revolution, which valorized erotic liberty. It has been widely and correctly observed that heterosexuals began to devalue marriage long before same-sex marriage became an issue. The individualism at the heart of contemporary American culture is at the core of Obergefell — and at the core of modern American life.

This is profoundly incompatible with orthodox Christianity. But this is the world we live in today.

One can certainly understand the joy that LGBT Americans and their supporters feel today. But orthodox Christians must understand that things are going to get much more difficult for us. We are going to have to learn how to live as exiles in our own country. We are going to have to learn how to live with at least a mild form of persecution. And we are going to have to change the way we practice our faith and teach it to our children, to build resilient communities.

It is time for what I call the Benedict Option. In his 1982 book After Virtue, the eminent philosopher Alasdair MacIntyre likened the current age to the fall of ancient Rome. He pointed to Benedict of Nursia, a pious young Christian who left the chaos of Rome to go to the woods to pray, as an example for us. We who want to live by the traditional virtues, MacIntyre said, have to pioneer new ways of doing so in community. We await, he said “a new — and doubtless very different — St. Benedict.”

Throughout the early Middle Ages, Benedict’s communities formed monasteries, and kept the light of faith burning through the surrounding cultural darkness. Eventually, the Benedictine monks helped refound civilization.

I believe that orthodox Christians today are called to be those new and very different St. Benedicts. How do we take the Benedict Option, and build resilient communities within our condition of internal exile, and under increasingly hostile conditions? I don’t know. But we had better figure this out together, and soon, while there is time.

Last fall, I spoke with the prior of the Benedictine monastery in Nursia, and told him about the Benedict Option. So many Christians, he told me, have no clue how far things have decayed in our aggressively secularizing world. The future for Christians will be within the Benedict Option, the monk said, or it won’t be at all.

Obergefell is a sign of the times, for those with eyes to see. This isn’t the view of wild-eyed prophets wearing animal skins and shouting in the desert. It is the view of four Supreme Court justices, in effect declaring from the bench the decline and fall of the traditional American social, political, and legal order.

We live in interesting times.


















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8 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/112018953450812446983 Harrison J Bounel : Never have consumed a b&j product.  Know their p0litics and never had the desire to support America's...
Never have consumed a b&j product.  Know their p0litics and never had the desire to support America's enemies from within.  I had heard that for this special edition of their cookie dough flavor, b&j brought in ingredient consultant dan savage to satisfy their especially loyal important customers by creating a 'frothy mix' of special ingredients, specifically appropriate for commemoration of this occasion.  A link provided  that may hint of the 'frothy' special ingredients.
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campaign_for_%22santorum%22_neologism

  Spoiler alert, watch out for the 'chocolate chunks'.  
Sweet victory: Ben and Jerry's honors landmark gay marriage decision | WashingtonExaminer.com

8 days ago - Via Google+ - View -