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Most recent 20 results returned for keyword: If I Had a Gun (Search this on MAP)

https://plus.google.com/116019436360955864096 Shane Blankenship : Welcome to Google + Hall of Faggots traitor. If I had a gun with two bullets and Hitler, Bin Laden, ...
Welcome to Google + Hall of Faggots traitor.
If I had a gun with two bullets and Hitler, Bin Laden, And You were in the same room I would shoot you twice.
Goodbye Old Friend.
🖕🖕 DICK!


https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-up24KSYB_Fs/WPzhpV-cu6I/AAAAAAABIxY/xcwHe8FvJlwAZOOw3my6u_SDjoYWLm-GQCJoC/w506-h750/17%2B-%2B1
1 day ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/100014478337870051705 Hikari (Raging Hetalian) : I'm not saying I'm feeling suicidal, but if I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler...
I'm not saying I'm feeling suicidal, but if I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler and the person I hated the most, I'd shoot myself twice
2 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/117494926795694884152 Susie Clevenger :

"If I had a gun I'd shoot them"... RIP Grandma Mac... who (thankfully) never carried a gun.
I barely uttered a word in my childhood, content to absorb & scribble, now... now I have a sackful of words (most I can't spell and often have trouble pronouncing, and rhyming(?) well shit a brick, no hope)... any-who Ms Wick...
2 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/117969211732423431596 Grand Admiral Ender (Sans) : 50 Shades Of Me... Tagged by: ​+Mirthy The Mercer Lord​ 1. What is your best friends name? Idk 2...
50 Shades Of Me...

Tagged by: ​+Mirthy The Mercer Lord

1. What is your best friends name?
Idk

2. What color shirt/t-shirt wearing now?
Grey

3. What are you listening to right now?
Stereo Heart

4. Whats your favourite number?
idk. Any even numbers

5. What was the last thing you ate?
Fried chicken

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
White. cuz it's a useless color

7. How is the weather right now?
It was raining, now it's not. And it's night when this was being typed in

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Can't remember

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
I don't..? I'm nervous around girls..?

10. Do you have a significant other?
I think.. Maybe..

11. Favorite TV show?
Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Star Wars: Rebels. And Gravity Falls

12. Siblings?
A korean obsessed sister

13. Height?
5"8

14. Hair color?
Blaaaaccckkk

15. Eye Color?
Also black

16. Do you wear contacts?
No

17. Favorite Holiday?
Any, as long as there's no school. Or Hari Raya..

18. Month?
It be April

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
No. I am a man. Kinda.

20. What was the last movie you watched?
I can't remember..

21. Favorite Day of the Year?
Any Fridays

22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
No, I definitely am not
Obviously

23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
No

24. Hugs or Kisses?
None. Or a hug..

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
ChOcOlAtE

26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
Idk

27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?
Idk

28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?
... Any of my crush

29. What books are you reading?
NONE BUT I WANT THE THRAWN NOVEL

30. Piercings?
no

31. Favorite movies?
Star Wars

32. Favorite football Team?
None, whichever "football" it's referring to.. But if it's Soccer, I liked Liverpool when I was 6

33. What are you doing right now?
Doing this shit

34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
BUTTER

37. Dogs or cats?
Cats. Can't touch dogs. And kinda scared of em

38. Favourite flower?
None..?

39. Been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to do?
No

40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
Idk

41. Have you ever loved someone?
Yes

42. Who would you like to see right now?
Everyone

43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
No

44. Have you ever fired a gun?
I WISHED. IF I HAD A GUN, I'D DUEL ANYONE AND LET MYSELF GET SHOT AND MISS MINE CUZ I HAVE THE AIM OF A STORMTROOPER

45. Do you like to travel by plane?
Never been in one

46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right.

47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
One

48. Are you missing someone?
Kinda.. Yes..

49. Do you have a tattoo?
No

50. Anybody that you’d go on a date with?
Maya, if she still loves me. I'm pretty sure she does.

Tag 10 more people to do this:
Just
Do
It
If
You
Want
I
Don't
Really
Care
4 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/103937783309412644229 World Musicok : Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - If I Had A Gun https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NMUDb3Ewhs
Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - If I Had A Gun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NMUDb3Ewhs
Watch the video: Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - If I Had A Gun…
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/Qxrw1TuOH6AbMkLBxtxqDnYCJTKKhsuSftJXSSxgUlDb37NMe4GPa4eX5HhheGkWFMwvxm3Vc9q03Pv7v80JY0sqQ64=w506-h284-n
Music video by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds performing If I Had A Gun… . Directed by Mike Bruce SUBSCRIBE: http://www.youtube.com/subscription_center?a...
5 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/109796563560064773085 A_Flying_Kitten : *Angle comes out of the couch with a gun... And she directly points it at the bunny nearby. Frozen in...
*Angle comes out of the couch with a gun... And she directly points it at the bunny nearby. Frozen in fear, the bunny doesn't move an inch. Angle pulls the trigger and kills the bunny with a bullet through it's small head.*
°Bye bye Bun Bun°
*She retreats back into the couch as if nothing ever happened*
7 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/107144870770219785632 Jaya Gopal : What would you do? concerning unwanted drone activity (privacy invasion) What would you do if you saw...
What would you do?
concerning unwanted drone activity (privacy invasion)
What would you do if you saw a drone with a camera hovering over your backyard where your kids were playing or where your partner was sunbathing, nearly nude?
16 days ago - Via Reshared Post - View -
https://plus.google.com/106660313341614165205 Recovering Panda : Toby: This here is a radon test kit. [holding out tiny cylinder disc] Okay I will be putting 'em everywhere...
Toby: This here is a radon test kit. [holding out tiny cylinder disc] Okay I will be putting 'em everywhere. And... please don't throw these out. [starts snapping towards Michael's face] This is a radon test kit. [continues snapping] Please don't throw these out. [Michael gives annoyed look] See them all over the office.

Michael: Toby has been leaving radon kits everywhere, like he owns the place. The first time I threw mine away, I thought it was an ant trap. [finds radon kit in between his blinds in his office] But I figured I'd rather live with ants than with his creepy little disc. [throws it away] The second time... I thought it was one of those, you know, those things you turn over and it moos. [finds another radon kit on top of his cabinet] Like a cow thing. But upon closer examination, it was another ant trap, so I threw it away. And the third time... I did it out of spite. [takes radon kit from the top of the blinds of his office window and slams it into the trash can]

Michael: Pfffffttt.
Toby: Come on, Michael. You're interrupting.
Michael: You're kidding me? God! You say radon is silent, but deadly, and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth? What is this?
Toby: Please sit down.
Michael: You know what? We're not gonna die of radon, we're gonna die of boredom.
Everyone: YEAH! [laughter]
Michael: Right? And if I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
Everyone: No. No!
Jim: That's... not okay.
Michael: Okay, alright.
Dwight: You were being really funny, and then you went too far.
Michael: I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.
Dwight: No, hmmm... that's still...
Everyone: Mm-mm.
Michael: Okay geniuses, how would you do it?
Creed: Curve the bullet. Like in my favorite James McAvoy film, Wanted.
Oscar: All that does is help you shoot around things. What does Bin Laden...
Ryan: Is there a curtain rod in the room?
Michael: I don't know.
Stanley: How about make-believe land has anything you want?
Jim: Stanley, please, this is serious!
Angela: Is this the thing where they use an icicle so there's no evidence?
Michael: Yes, we stab Toby through the heart with an icicle.
Dwight: Come on, the whole two bullet thing is a red herring. Here's how you do it: You line them all up, you take one bullet, shoot them all through the throat at the same time. Watch this. [stands up and points to Phyllis] Phyllis, you're Hitler. Come up here. Toby, you're Toby. Andy, you're Bin Laden. Line up, throats together.
Toby: I don't wanna do this.
Michael: [shouting] Toby, just do it! God!
Dwight: Toby, come on. [Andy lines up to the right of Toby and Phyllis is on his left]
Dwight: Ready, one bullet. And boom! [makes shooting noises and mimics a bullet with his fingers tapping Phyllis' throat, then Toby's, and finally Andy's]
Everyone: Yeah, that works. That works!
Michael: Good work. [clapping]

Pam: What flavors did you get? [yawns]
Erin: It's so exciting Pam. The Eagles are doing a theme of ice creams in honor of turning 60.
Pam: [reading flavors] Despera-dough. Witchy-womanilla. Why do they do this?
Erin: Do you want me to go back to the store?
Pam: No, no, no, it's fine. I was just commenting. We gotta get these out, open 'em up.

Erin: This is all for Michael. It turns out his girlfriend was married.
Pam: Yeah, and when Michael gets a broken heart, this whole place comes to a halt, so we're just trying to get out in front of this.
Erin: After his last breakup, he ate 40,000 calories in three hours. Right, Pam? That's what Pam told me.
Pam: [yawns] Yeah, or no... well... I don't know. I'm sorry. I was up all night with Cece, otherwise I'd be running this.
Erin: That's okay. You probably shouldn't keep a baby up that late, though.

Erin: We have Mr. Bean playing in the conference room and the Pink Panther movie in his office. With half hour shifts to watch it with him.
Pam: And we need bodies in both these rooms, people. So please sign up.
Erin: He's coming.
Pam: Oh, okay. Everyone, remember, when he get's like this, he will wallow, if you empathize. Keep conversations light and if you get stuck, and you don't know what to do, make a random sound effect okay? Farting noise, whatever. Okay.
Toby: [walks in] Hey everyone.
Pam: No, out! Get out now! Leave now.
Dwight: Leave, get outta here.
Pam: Leave!
Dwight: Right now!
Pam: Oh, and if he makes a joke, just laugh it up, no matter what. Okay?
Michael: [walks in] Morning everyone.
Everyone: Hey! [applauses] Hey, hey!
Erin: Hi Michael. [gives him a hug]
Michael: Hello!
Dwight: Michael, nice tie or something.
Michael: Oh, thank you. It's reversible, I think. [everyone laughs]
Kevin: That's hilarious.
Pam: That's awesome. You want some ice cream?
Michael: Oh! Oh wow, are those Eagles' flavors? Cake it to the Limit. That's my favorite! I love that! Too much for me to have by myself. Anybody wanna share?
Kevin: Boi-oi-oi-ing
Michael: Okay. Well... that's random. I will dig into those later.

Lawyer: I don't follow this exactly. Uh, "The Descendants of any replicants from this union shall have..."
Dwight and Angela: Joint custody
Lawyer: Are we talking about your grandchildren?
Angela: No.
Dwight: No.

Angela: Rather than spend all day in court, we've decided to settle our dispute using a mediator. It was an option spelled out in our childrearing contract.
Dwight: Alleged contract.
Angela: Alleged? I'm going to own your farm by the time this is over.
Dwight: Just try. I will do legal jujitsu on you. Gyah! [pretends to karate chop her neck] See, don't even need to make contact. The law will do it.

Dwight: So much of this is just impossible to verify. Item five, point "B", uh... the beet juice cleanse?
Angela: I'm doing it. You know I am. It's disgusting.
Dwight: How do we know this? I'd like to see a stool sample.
Angela: Dwight, look at my teeth. [shows teeth, beet red]
Dwight: Eughh. [looks disgusted]

Andy: No secret crying. Hasn't even opened the tissue box in there.
Pam: Could he still be seeing her?
Phyllis: I don't think he'd do that.
Jim: So we're gonna say the most likely scenerio is that Michael matured overnight?
Andy: Well, it happened to Tom Hanks in Big.
Jim: Exactly. It happened in Big.

Michael: No, I gotta go. Text me later.
Jim: I'm really too tired to do this.
Pam: Me too!
Jim: Then let's just not do this. Do you have any idea the risks involved?
Pam: Hey Michael.
Michael: Hey.
Pam: We were wondering if you would like to have dinner with us tonight, in our home, and play with our baby.
Jim: We can order in from Hooters.
Michael: Oh, Hooters to go. Nice.
Pam: We can watch a movie and play Rock Band.
Jim: Billy Joel Rock Band.
Michael: That... exists?
Pam: Yes.
Michael: Okay, well, I'll have to take a rain check, but thanks for the offer.
Pam: [shouts] Michael Scott, are you still seeing Donna?
Michael: Okay, Pam... she's not invisible so stop asking silly questions.
Phyllis: Oh Michael.
Michael: Since when is this an office where we delve into each other's personal lives?

Michael: I like Donna. Is it wrong to keep seeing her? Depends on who you ask. I mean, if you ask her husband... or you took a random poll, yeah, it's wrong.

Meredith: That is something I would never do.
Michael: Well, I think we all know what you're capable of Meredith.
Meredith: Hey, I have never cheated on, been cheated on, or been used to cheat with.

Meredith: I ask... everyone in the room, "Are you in a relationship?".

Michael: People, this is Scranton. And many people consider that to be the Paris of northeastern Pennsylvania. And in Paris, it is rude for a woman to have less than four lovers.
Kelly: Eughh, Ryan, I do not want you hanging around Michael anymore.
Ryan: Okay.
Michael: I will have you know that I asked Donna about this and she is fine with it. And just to be sure, I asked her again afterward. Same answer.
Andy: How does he feel about it?
Michael: He is never gonna find out. He is a high school baseball coach. He wakes up early. He goes to bed early. Look at how long it took for him to find out. [points to Andy] It was right under his nose. I had to tell him.
Jim: Now you're just being hurtful.
Michael: I'm sorry, it... why is it okay for Stanley to cheat or for Phyllis to cheat...
Phyllis: Hey!
Michael: On her diet! He's a sports guy. He's scummy. Dogfighting. Drugs. They spit.
Andy: Did Donna tell you that?
Michael: Real sports with Bryant Gumble.
Andy: So you're just making a giant assumption. You don't even know the guy.
Michael: You know what? You know what? I am declaring a moment of silence right now. Ten minutes of silence honoring Michael Jackson. just sit there and think about Michael jackson.

Andy: My name is Andy Bernard and I am a cuckold. For those of you unfamiliar with William Shakespeare, a cuckold is a man whose woman is cheating on him. I've lived the part. And let me tell you, I'd so much rather play the part on stage.

Andy: So... here's the thing about infidelity.
Michael: Mm, no, when are you people going to stop casting the first stone? I am not in the wrong here. I am the good guy.
Andy: How does that work?
Michael: Do you think this husband is a super sweet nice guy? Do you think he's an angel? I don't think so. Why is his wife going off and having a little something-something with me? There has to be a problem with him.
Andy: In any cheating movie, the person getting cheated on is the hero. You're Ali Larter, I'm Beyonce.
Michael: I am Beyonce always.
Andy: Not this time.
Michael: Yes, I am.
Andy: This guy's a high school baseball coach, right? Let's go check him out, see what a horrible person he is.
Michael: I would love that.
Andy: Yeah. Those teams have games and practices every day. Let's go check it out.
Michael: I have work to do.
Andy: Oh, really? I thought you were the boss.
Michael: Let's go. [starts walking towards the elevator] I can't wait to see this jerk who is making me cheat on his wife. I should punch him in the nose for what he's making me do to her.

Andy: [humming Call to Post] Bum bum BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM bum bum
Michael: All right, Andy, please.
Andy: Baseball!
Michael: Shh! Try not to draw attention, please. That's him. That's him.
Andy: Where?
Michael: Right there. The coach!
Andy: Stage right or stage left? I played batboy in damn yankees!
Michael: Right there. Look, look. Follow my finger. Okay? see? The grownup by the base?
Andy: [announcer's voice] And Now, coaching third base with two arms, two legs, and no heart. Capable of feeling pain.
Michael: All right. Can you just-- can you just act normal for a second, please?
Andy: Whatever. I'm the one blending in.

Gabe: [ahem][Pam snores] Guys?
Jim: Pam.
Pam: Mm. Hey. Oh, hi, Gabe.
Gabe: Can you two please join me in my office? Now.
Pam: You were supposed to be the Lookout.
Jim: Yeah, well it's really warm in here. It's like a sleeping bag.

Gabe: I don't wanna be the heavy here, but honestly, guys, this makes us all look bad.
Jim: Sorry about that.
Pam: So embarrassing.
Gabe: Good. Okay. End of the dressing down. I just hate that part of the job, you know, the power dynamics.
Jim: Well, you were surprisingly restrained.
Pam: We will be well-rested tomorrow.
Gabe: Okay. That's great, actually, because I wanted to talk to you about something else.
Jim: Excellent. Go for it.
Gabe: I'm sure you got my email about the printer fires. The one with the branching decision tree? I actually designed that chart. Kinda hoping it catches on. [Jim and Pam struggling to stay awake] Anyway, the question is, what is the best way to disseminate important information in an efficient way?
Jim: Right? So, uh, let's uh...

Lawyer: Finally there's a provision here in the occurrence that the child is born an old man, a la Benjamin Button.
Angela: Same page. Go to the next one.
Dwight: Same page. Just keep moving.
Lawyer: Despite the provision covering whether this is all part of the matrix--
Dwight: Which we can't know.
Lawyer: This is essentially...
Dwight: Unless we're unplugged.
Lawyer: Equivalent to a donor or surrogate contractor.
Dwight: And wake up in the future.
Lawyer: Which is actually pretty common. So I have to tell you that this is a solid contract.
Dwight: What?
Lawyer: Look, I can't enforce that anybody have a child with anyone else.
Angela: What?
Lawyer: So essentially, this comes down to damages. Now, there is some precedence for the range of $30,000.
Dwight: What?

Dwight: I don't have $30,000 lying around. I have it buried very deeply, and I don't want to dig past a certain someone to get it.

Andy: Chase Dixon is up. Could be a big play.
Michael: You have no idea what you're talking about.
Andy: I know it's like cricket.
Michael: You don't. No, no.
Andy: And it's-there's- well, home plate is like a wicket.
Michael: You don't know. You don't-- you don't know anything. Look at him. Look at him over there. High-fiving? He didn't even do anything. Kid did all the work. I bet he does that at home. I bet it's like, "Hey, Donna, why don't you wash the dishes?" "High-five, Donna." "Hey, why don't you bring me my slippers?" "Hi-five. I'm taking all the credit."
Andy: Seems pretty well liked by the team.
Michael: Okay, well, that's because he's paying their salary.
Andy: You do know that high school coaches don't pay their players.
Michael: I know, I know, I know. It-I'm--it- that was a euphemism.

Dwight: $30,000? There's gotta be another way.
Angela: He has a 60-acre beet farm that is worth a small fortune.
Dwight: Look, I will not pay.
Angela: Well, I have an alternative.[hands Dwight a document]
Dwight: "Intercourse to completion. Five individual times rendered at my discretion?"
Lawyer: Look, I don't think that's actually legal.
Dwight: Agreed. [shakes hands with Angela]

Dwight: Five times for $30,000? Not a bad stud fee. Better than most horses.

Dwight: But not in your bed. It's lumpy.
Angela: Those lumps are cats, and those cats have names, and those names are Ember, Milky Way, Diane, and Lumpy.
Dwight: Fine. Five times. [signs contract]
Lawyer: Look, I can't legally watch this unfold. It's coming a little dangerously close to prostitution.
Angela: I want eye contact.
Dwight: No.
Angela: Yes.
Dwight: Do you understand how rare is that in nature?
Angela: I'm not some farm animal. [Dwight smirks at the camera]

Andy: Great game, coach.
Michael: Shh! Okay, all right. Don't, don't.
Andy: You guys are awesome! Best game I've ever seen in my life.
Shane: Yeah, right. You must be rootin' for the other guys.
Andy: Ha. The other guys can go die.
Michael: [whispers] Okay.
Andy: Baseball! Go talk to him.
Michael: No. God. You go talk to him.

Shane: Let's go.
Andy: Shane. Great game man!
Shane: Do I know you?
Andy: No. Uh, just big fans. Both of us.
Shane: Are you somebody's... parents? Oh, are you guys... Kenny's dads?
Andy: Ha. No. No. But we're gay for baseball. [chuckles]
Shane: Okay.
Andy: But I have a wife, actually, who I really love a lot.
Shane: Okay. Let's go!
Andy: Yeah. I am so into the institution of marriage.
Shane: Whoa!
Andy: I mean, isn't marriage the best, you know? Two good people finding each other, getting all committed to each other. So you love baseball. What else do you love? Let's round you out as a person.
Shane: Hey, I'm really sorry, I'm just trying to... focus here on the game.
Andy: I get it, man. I love it. That's what makes you a good coach. You know, but as a fan, it just helps me enjoy the game better if I know the coach loves his wife.
Shane: Of course. Okay? I gotta... get back to this.
Andy: Of course.
Shane: All right.
Andy: But real quick, I want you to meet my associate. Sheldon!
Michael: No, no, no.
Andy: Come on, get over here.
Michael: I'm good. Oh, my God.
Andy: Get- Get over here. Sheldon, say hi to the nice coach.
Michael: Sorry. I got some stomach cramps.
Shane: It's all right. It's all right. Keep it going.
Michael: Well, that was not at all what I expected. Hoo hoo! Whoo. My heart's still racing. I just looked a man in the eyes and I shook his hand. All the time I was thinking, "I'm sleeping with your wife." And you know who does that? James freakin' Bond.

Michael: Okay, orange slices. There ya go.
Erin: Thanks, Michael.
Michael: Don't thank me. Thank Dylan's mom. Here you go! Oh! Ooh Hoo Hoo Hoo hoo!
Oscar: Why would you throw something wet at me?
Michael: You love it. There ya go.
Jim: Now, were those for the team?
Michael: Uh, no, they didn't say team. They just said coal Hawks.
Jim: Ah.
Pam: I don't think those were yours to take.
Michael: Well, then it wouldn't be the first time I stole something away from Coach Shane.
Andy: I just wanna go on record as saying that I do not condone this affair, and I went so far as to force Michael to confront the victim of his behavior.
Pam: Did you talk to him?
Michael: I did.
Pam: You talked to the man whose wife you're having an affair with.
Kevin: Wow. That is crazy.
Phyllis: Was there a fistfight?
Michael: No. We just talked. He's very nice.
Phyllis: And it didn't change your mind.
Michael: It did not.
Phyllis: Michael, that's awful.
Michael: Isn't it?
Phyllis: Yes.
Michael: I'm awful, aren't I?
Kevin: Yeah. That's pretty bad.
Michael: I'm an awful guy! Ooh!
Oscar: How can you live with yourself?
Michael: I am what I am, Oscar. And I want what I want. And right now, I want a piece of cake. From now on, when I'm hungry, I am going to eat whatever I am hungry for.
Kevin: That is a dangerous game, friendo.

Kelly: Well, because I thought that it was a book about Anthropology the store.
Ryan: I don't know why you were in that part of the bookstore.
Kelly: 'Cause it's next to they baby section, okay?
Ryan: All right, that makes more sense. You should have said that at the beginning when you said, "I read a book about anthropology."
Kelly: I don't really know why you're screaming at me right now.
Ryan: I'm not scream-- I'm not screaming.
Kelly: That's Meredith's cake. It's her birthday.
Michael: I don't care. I have an appetite for life! [eats cake] Mmm. Mmm! Oh, god. That's Lemon.
Ryan: Good for you, man. Good for you.

Ryan: He takes what he wants.

Ryan: You know what? I think you're attractive, and I wanna sleep with you.
Erin: What about Kelly?
Ryan: You read my mind.
Erin: [quietly] Is this a joke?
Ryan: Yep.

Ryan: It's hard to live that way man. You gotta really not care what people think about you. I-I don't know how you do it, Michael, I-I-I can't be that cold.
Michael: You'll learn, baby. You'll learn.

Dwight: [pressing buttons to start microwave and moves towards his crotch] I am an honorable man, and I will honor the contract. But I don't have to give her the good stuff. Schrute sperm are strong, [banging on his crotch with drum sticks] but they're no match for a grown Schrute man. [drops yellow pages against his crotch] [screaming] [chuckling] Let's see what she gets. [bouncing crotch on bike and crashes into glass door] [thud] Aah!

Creed: [Michael leaving copy machine] Uh, boss, we're out of paper.
Michael: Yeah, I noticed that.
Creed: Are you gonna add any more?
Michael: Nope.

Creed: He don't give an "F" about nothin'!

Michael: I have got big balls.

Pam: I don't think I'm gonna make it.
Jim: [yawning] What about an energy drink or something?
Pam: [shakes head] It gets in the breast milk. If I drink it, Cece drinks it six hours later.
Jim: Well, it doesn't mean I can't drink it.
Pam: Well, it does and it doesn't.
Darryl: Probably shouldn't tell you this, but a lotta guys in the warehouse work multiple jobs, so... we have a place.
Jim: A place?
Darryl: A restful location. Talk to Glen. He'll take you up in the lift.
Pam: You sleep in the warehouse?
Darryl: Lightbulb's burnt out, so it's dark. And the heat from the backup generator keeps it nice and warm. Sometimes I think about it when I'm trying to fall asleep at home. But as far as the rest of the office goes, it doesn't exist, okay?
Jim: Okay.
Darryl: Pam.
Pam: Okay.

Phyllis: For your signature. [drops document on Michael's desk]
Michael: Okay. [Phyllis avoids looking at Michael] Phyllis. Okay. Look at me. [continues to look away] Phyllis, look at-- [Phyllis turns to leave] okay, that's... [chases after her] All right, all right. You know what? I'm sick of this. I'm sick of the little disapproving head shakes. If you think that's going to have any effect on me, it will not. I am going to leave right now and go to a motel to meet Donna.
Kevin: Why not your condo?
Michael: Because a motel is dirty and it is sexy. Like me. And like Donna. And frankly, the stuff that we're into isn't very condo-appropriate.
Stanley: Oh, Michael, will you drop it? Everybody's spoken their mind, and no one's changing their mind.
Michael: Okay, Morgan Freeman-narrating-everything.
Andy: Do you want someone to stop you? 'Cause no one's going to.
Michael: Nobody better try to stop me. Good. [leaves the office. door closes]
Dwight: I could have stopped him.

Dwight: Are you warmed up? [outside sliding door in warehouse]
Angela: No.
Dwight: God, Angela, why is that always my responsibility? [zipper sound]
Angela: What did you do to yourself? [camera pans to Jim and Pam laying down in restful location]
Dwight: Never mind. Just never mind.
Angela: Well, it better work.
Dwight: Oh, it'll work. [Jim and Pam look shocked and disturbed] Mm. Stop kissing me. It's not in the contract.

Michael: [driving in car; returns to office; grabs ice cream out of freezer] How do I feel about breaking up with Donna? Good. Moral. I feel proud. [beeping; cut to Donna who is waiting in the parking lot of the motel] Like a grownup.[Donna receives text from phone] That was not easy because I really liked her a lot. And I'm a little bit emotional right now because I know that I absolutely made the right decision. [Donna has disappointed look; cut back to Michael in his office opening ice cream] At the end of the day, we have to do what's right. And it was either living with myself or... being happy. And I picked... the... former.

Reporter: Michael Scott?
Michael: Yes?
Reporter: Do you wanna make a comment on the rumors?
Michael: [sighs] Umm... I have done some very bad things, things of which I am not proud. I would like to publicly apologize to... the coach and the players. And I vow to never listen to my bodily instincts ever again.
Reporter: I'm talking about the Sabre printers that catch on fire.
Michael: Oh. Okay. I was talking about... what do-- what? What's going on?
25 days ago - Via Community - View -
https://plus.google.com/112875203251174017011 vbbharwad : If i had a gun with two bullets and i was with hitlerbin laden and you insert your ex or your enemy’s...
If i had a gun with two bullets and i was with hitlerbin laden and you insert your ex or your enemy’s namei would shoot you twice.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-WtmIzOsPeGA/WNklTG8RfrI/AAAAAAAAAgs/wcNIdhrxl8E9kink3SQla9XE_J5vbt_xACJoC/w506-h750/2017%2B-%2B1
28 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/103245363167919675532 Innie Keye : Circus of Dead Squirrels Overpopulation, Annihilation Overpopulation, annihilation ! If I had a gun ...
Circus of Dead Squirrels
Overpopulation, Annihilation
Overpopulation, annihilation !
If I had a gun I would have lots of fun
With the people that refused to hold the fucking door open for me
I would drop a nuclear bomb on the terrorists and the minivans
And take out all the soccer moms
We got the upper-class assholes saying abortion is shit
We got the deadbeat parents pumping out malnourished kids
We got the rapists and molesters costing us money
When I would step inside their cell and rip out their hearts for free
We got the prostitute and porn star pieces of shit
The married scumbag men who need to have that ring burned on their dick
You make me sick
I can’t live with your shit anymore
Attention K-Mart shoppers there’s a homicidal maniac in aisle three
Please remain calm
Please form a single file line
Please shut off your goddamn cell phones
Get up against the wall
Keep your fucking mouth shut
The hip hop music blasting from the car
While the moron pumps gas or hangs around in the store
Turn it off no one wants to hear that shit
I guess to be a true idiot you must be inconsiderate
We got the yuppies in the SUVs supporting the war
Cuz the ribbon says so plus they gave Wal-Mart two dollars more
We got the frat boy fuckheads talking shit at the bar
I’ll cut you open just to show you how fucking empty you are
You make me sick
I can’t live with your shit anymore
All week long take an additional twenty-five percent off all guns and ammo
As always no permit required
Get up against the wall
Please visit our customer service department
For assistance with shooting yourself in the fucking head
Get up against the wall
Keep your fucking mouth shut. 
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-iNy0zLyCwy4/WNj3erkio4I/AAAAAAAAfEQ/CkIrt61Clyw7C3mBdI0eQXSBN_AYf__tQCJoC/w506-h750/17%2B-%2B1
28 days ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/102687204416059761133 Kevin H Sellers : Marines are coming to help u. I dont have any thing to do with this. If i had a gun and a vehicle i ...
Marines are coming to help u. I dont have any thing to do with this. If i had a gun and a vehicle i would come help. Get em
Watch the video: 21 Savage & Metro Boomin - No Advance (Official Audio)
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/FzATXaJw38lpomRpZpfxR3fBoYZwxTP7hNB6LFHY7q-T0EltZ3a7kFM2NY2nFkO6G2Xc0dcnrSaKNoFffzTGvwFc_cA=w506-h284-n
Listen to “No Advance" by 21 Savage produced by Metro Boomin off the 'Savage Mode' project. Stream 'Savage Mode' on YouTube: http://bit.ly/SavageModeStream P...
1 month ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/102017584486390256064 Charu : If i had a gun with two bullets and i was in a room with hitler,bin laden and u...i would shoot u twice...
If i had a gun with two bullets and i was in a room with hitler,bin laden and u...i would shoot u twice
U refers to hoes
1 month ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/104443482463627573646 The Joker : What would you do if I had a gun to my head?
What would you do if I had a gun to my head?
1 month ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/111033298511085246580 Jeremy “The Scout” : “If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Josuke, I would shoot...
“If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Laden, and Josuke, I would shoot Josuke twice.”
—Rohan Kishibe
1 month ago - Via Reshared Post - View -
https://plus.google.com/109107276845063454554 Holy Kel Soul Spirit Saved : Oh wait the example of why they are completely evil and are truly trying to kill me ...I forgot to write...
Oh wait the example of why they are completely evil and are truly trying to kill me ...I forgot to write it!
A GUN!
Prior to my being suicidal ...for the first time in my life I had some dodgy person I barely even knew ask me if I wanted to buy a gun!! He had it right there in a box and wanted me to buy it. I of course said no. I've never seen him since. 6 months later I was suicidal and the only way I'd have killed myself was if I had a gun.

They truly want me to kill myself. Make no mistake of how serious this is. How deadly serious.

And how well protected I am by God to be still be alive!! 
1 month ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/112123171357806310547 Marethyu Kuroshibyo : ((So, this is what happens when I get bored.)) ❚Uploading Data Files❚ P R O C E S S I N G.... ...
((So, this is what happens when I get bored.))



❚Uploading Data Files❚



P R O C E S S I N G....



❚Please enter the password❚

« ∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘∘ »


❚Are you sure you wish to open this file? you may receive corruption in your data.❚


☛ [Yes]
[No]


L o a d i n g.....

██░░░░░░░░ 20%

████░░░░░░ 40%

███████░░░ 70%

██████████ 100%


❚❸❚




❚❷❚




❚❶❚




❚F I L E U P L O A D E D❚



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♚【】Quotes【】♚
❝Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really... ❞ (Sarah after watching Matthias press an elevator button repeatedly during a job.)

❝I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.❞

❝I’m smiling. This should scare you.❞

❝Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.❞

❝If you don’t like me, take a map, get a car, drive to hell. Have a nice trip.❞

❝Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?❞

❝Is your ass jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth?❞

❝Bitch, I’d kick you in the V, but I’m afraid I’d lose my shoe.❞

❝I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.❞

❝If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and you, I would shoot you twice.❞

❝The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.❞

❝You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.❞
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[SECRET] » General Information «

♚【】Name【】♚
Sarah McAllistar


♚【】Nicknames/Aliases【】♚
Codename: Maleficent
Subject 13

♚【】Age【】♚
19


♚【】Birthday【】♚
October 31, 1997


♚【】Gender【】♚
Female


♚【】Zodiac Sign【】♚
Scorpio


♚【】Sexuality【】♚
Subject appears to be bisexual, which begs the question. Due to her Daemonic heritage, is she able to reproduce with both genders?


♚【】Species【】♚
Human-Daemon Hybrid.


♚【】Nationality【】♚
Lives in America


♚【】Ethnicity【】♚
Scottish


♚【】Accent【】♚
Subject has an American accent generally, but will slip into a Scottish accent when under stress.


♚【】Occupation【】♚
[S] Subject 13 is currently an Active Field Agent in the Department of Defense Parapsychology Defense Sector


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» Personal Information «

♚【】Personality【】♚
Subject is rather harsh with her words, never missing an opportunity to get away from people through various insults and snarks. SHe distrusts humanity and even other Daemons in general, and avoids social interaction at all costs. The only people she interacts with on a daily basis consists of her team, Agent Smith, and her summoner/adoptive sister, Elizabeth Williams. When someone angers her or attempts to harm Elizabeth, she tends to be rather brutal with her retaliation. (i.e. Putting a man through a steel vault door after he tried to kidnap the summoner.)


♚【】Relationships【】♚
ParapsyOps Red Team:
Team Leader: Jack Pendragon (Descendant of King Arturius.)
Red One: Neve Kholer (Cryokinetic)
Red Two: Ludwig Wolfe (Werewolf Hybrid)
Red Three: Matthias Kholer (Pyrokinetic)

Elizabeth Williams (Summoner/Adoptive Sister)

Senior Special Agent John Smith (Human/Head of Field Operations for ParapsyOps)

♚【】Family【】♚
Mother: Deceased
Sire: Unknown (Signs point to an Archaic Daemon)


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» Health «

♚【】Allergies【】♚
Sacred Silver: Severely Reduces her Non-Physical Abilities. An electric collar with blessed silver lining has been placed around her throat to subdue her if need be.


♚【】Blood Type【】♚
Similar to AB Negative, but shows increased white blood cell count and an immunity to all known mundane, daemonic, and magical poisons.


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» Likes & Dislikes «

♚【】Likes【】♚
✓ Subject seems rather adept and finds pleasure in dispatching enemies in creative and rather brutal ways.
✓ Subject prefers the solitude of her quarters over living company.
✓ Elizabeth is an excellent way of controlling subject thirteen, as she will do anything to keep her human summoner.
✓ Subject enjoys reading books. However, it is noteworthy to mention that all spellbooks are to be kept away from subject. She has displayed an incredible photographic memory.

♚【】Dislikes【】♚
✗ Subject dislikes captivity, which is unusual considering the amount of time she remains in her quarters.
✗ Anyone who dares hurts those close to her will generally find themselves in hell within a few seconds.
✗ Despite her heritage, Subject 13 dislikes any missions that require her to go to hell, stating that she never wants to be near her father again.
✗ Subject dislikes humans in particular, considering many of them to be inferior, greedy, corrupt creatures barely worthy of the title sentient.

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» Physical Appearance «

♚【】Body Build【】♚
Subject 13 appears to be thin to the point of anorexia, however her muscular-skeletal system is immeasurably denser than any human's. She has a strength that would outstrip many paranormal creatures, including some minor gods. Her durability is off the charts, and has been tested through impromptu means when a religious doctor in the sector decided to kill her by hitting her with an oil tanker. She was struck by the explosive vehicle, and proceeded to be plowed through several concrete walls before the gas mixture ignited and threw her clear through a warehouse. She simply stood up and subsequently began "chasing" the man who had bailed before the truck hit. After toying with him for several hours, she "grew bored," and began flaying the man with a burning piece of metal from the wreckage. As mentioned before, Subject tends to get creative when she's irritated.

NOTE: Subject can change appearance at will. We have collected photographs of her various appearances, but htere doesn't seem to be a limit to her transformations.


♚【】Height【】♚
160cm


♚【】Weight【】♚
45kg


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» Weapons, Skills, Abilities & Weakness(es) «

♚【】Weapons【】♚
Issued for missions: M9 Beretta PPW- used for more public missions.

M-4 Carbine Tactical Rifle: Used for heavier missions. Subject dislikes using it due to the holy iron we have used in her rounds and bayonette.

Non-Standard: Subject has the ability to summon Daemonic/ Shattered Weapons

♚【】Skills【】♚
Martial Artist Militant Style

Swordsmanship

Marksmanship

Linguist

♚【】Abilities【】♚
http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Demonic_Powers

(Barring the illegal ones, of course.)

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

♚【】Weakness(es):【】♚
Divine Powers/Materials


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» Bio «

♚【】Home-Town【】♚
[TOP SECRET//NO FORN]


♚【】Biography【】♚
Born in ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓, Sarah was used in an ancient ritual to try and revive a Daemon King. Unfortunately, this ritual was a hit and miss as it required a woman to give birth to a male child. Sarah, of course, did not fit the bill. She, along with her mother, was tossed into the portal prepared by the ritual, sending them to the ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ of Hell. The mother failed to survive the trip due to her human physiology, but Sarah managed to hang on to life. The Daemon Lord of that ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ was disgusted by his half human spawn, and turned her into a slave. The Subject remained in this state for years, being abused, tortured, and.... other things that we are not at liberty to discuss upon this briefing.

The half human lived like this for 15 long years until she was summoned by a recently orphaned five year old who had just witnessed her parents murders and wanted someone to help her. The girl failed to realize that she was a summoner, and ended up dragging Subject 13 out of hell and into the scene of a massacre at ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓. Several men were attempting to kill the young girl, not noticing a bright flash of red light behind them until they heard Sarah cursing in several Daemonic languages. They turned around and correctly assumed that Sarah was the bigger threat. Then they made the mistake of attacking her with standard human weapons. Thoroughly pissed off and with a rather large dagger sticking out of her chest, Subject thirteen proceeded to beat the men to death. Living in hell had given her a few pointers about how to inflict pain while keeping your victim alive. She even managed to tear out one of their spines and beat them over the head while never killing them for about thirty seconds.

Local authorities came upon the gruesome sight with Sarah in the middle of it all holding Elizabeth tightly. No matter how much they tried, they couldn't separate the two. After a few days, this reached the offices of ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓. Realizing just what Elizabeth and Sarah were, they sent a team over to secure and contain the assets. It took several magazines of tranquilizers, but they eventually subdued the half daemoness. Of course, that still didn't mean she appreciated waking up on another continent. Still, she managed not to destroy the lower levels... After a six month reconditioning and indoctrination, the teenage daemoness was admitted into the ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓, a first response/strike team to deal with supernatural threats worldwide. She has been with the team for several years now.




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1 month ago - Via Community - View -
https://plus.google.com/103758973711453564742 Dylan Klebold (voDKa) : Whatever, If I Had A Gun, I'd Blow Your Damn Head Off With No Hesitation.
Whatever, If I Had A Gun, I'd Blow Your Damn Head Off With No Hesitation. 
1 month ago - Via Google+ - View -
https://plus.google.com/113474382713310823515 I Am Meme Gamer : I would kill myself if I had a gun
I would kill myself if I had a gun
1 month ago - Via Google+ - View -