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Most recent 20 results returned for keyword: Hello Ian (Search this on MAP) Mansib Hassan : Hello Ian new here
Hello Ian new here
3 days ago - Via Google+ - View - Ian Sweeney : Me: knocks on Fluttershy's door Fluttershy: opens the door Oh hello Ian. I'm happy to see you. Me:Me...
Me: knocks on Fluttershy's door

Fluttershy: opens the door Oh hello Ian. I'm happy to see you.

Me:Me too Fluttershy. Can I come in?

Fluttershy:Sure. Come on in.

Me: goes in How are you doing today?

Fluttershy:I'm fine. How are you today?

Me:I'm fine. looks all around the cottage and I see animals You sure have a lot of animals.

Fluttershy:I can understand animals feelings.

Me:Really? I never knew.

Fluttershy:My cutie mark says so. show her cutie mark

Me:Oh cool.

Fluttershy:Anyways I'm happy you decided to drop by.

Me:Can I tell you something Fluttershy?

Fluttershy:Sure Ian. What is it you want to tell me?

Me:Ever since we first met.... I sorta,kinda had a crush on you.

Fluttershy:Really? You did?

Me:Yes. I did.

Fluttershy:Y'know when I first met you and Cam,I had a crush on you too.

Me:Is that true?

Fluttershy:It's true.

Me:Well I've been looking for a marefriend but everywhere I've looked in all of Ponyville,every other mare was taken.

Fluttershy:I've been looking for a coltfriend too.

Me:Wanna be my marefriend?

Fluttershy:Oh most definitely. I'll definitely be your marefriend and you can be my coltfriend.

Me:How about we have a date?

Fluttershy:Sure. We can have a date.

Me:I love you Fluttershy.

Fluttershy:And I love you Ian.

(Wanna voice Fluttershy +Cam Cam)
1 month ago - Via Google+ - View - Laura Valkyrie : Chapter 5 Laura turned and stood beside Tyler. the group of guys filed into the room. "Laura, you need...
Chapter 5

Laura turned and stood beside Tyler. the group of guys filed into the room. "Laura, you need to get out of here." he said keeping his gaze on guys. "no, i'm not leaving you. who are they and what do they want?" she asked. "we want you daughter of darkness.......little witch." the head guy spoke up in a deep demonic voice. her eyebrows wrinkled together. "witch?" laura asked confused. Tyler looked down at her. he could see it now. what ever was holding it back before was gone, but now was not the time. Tyler grabbed a guitar that was beside him. one of the demons ran in towards them. he lifted it up and swung it. it hit the demon making him fall to the ground. "you think you can defeat all of us Demigod?" the leader said to Tyler. "maybe. or a least improve your faces." he snarled at them. this was getting to Laura. her breath quickened as she tried to let it all stink in.

Tess flung one of the demons who was standing guard at the back entrance. another demon came running after them. Diana leaped in the air transforming into a huge black Dire wolf. her clothes falling to the ground in shreds. she leaped on to the demon and ripped his throat out with her teeth. Diana then ran off toward Laura's sent. tess walked over the dead body and behind diana.

"look Orpheus, this fight doesn't include you. we just want her." he pointed to laura with his long finger. "Orpheus? I thought your name was Tyler?" she asked as they began backing up towards the exit door. "you want her,well you have to go through me." Tyler said gripping his metal Guitar and it dripped the black blood of the last victim it struck. "we need her, her power. she will be a great asset to our cause. tess knew that but she thought she could hide you from us." laura didnt know what the hell they were talking about. tyler and laura reached the exit it door. he pushed it open with his foot and pushed her through it as he turned and ran. he grabbed her wrist and they ran down the long hallway. the demons chased behind them.

tess and diana reached the room. diana sniffed the dead demon and lifted her head growling. tess bent down. "laura didnt do this," tess' worry grew as she stood up. Diana's ears perked up and she heard the demons running. she barked and ran off in the direction they fled. tess ran behind Diana, her heels clanking as she tried to keep up with her four legged friend.

laura and tyler reached the exit door at the end of the hall. they ran out into a back alley. laura looked back and saw they were still being chased. tyler didn't look back he just yanked on her wrist driving her forward down the alley and towards the street. they were cut off by a group of more demons. "you guys sure do fester like roaches." tylers slide to a stop. laura almost lost her balance, but caught it on tyler's shoulder. the demons that were chasing them made their way slowly behind them. she was holding on his arm. hers wrapped around his not knowing what the hell was going on. the demons approached growling. tyler raised his guitar ready to swing at them. laura closed her eyes trying to catch her breath.the wicked laughter and the sound of tyler's heavy breathing plus the situation was too much. suddenly first row of demons went flying.
Laura opened her eyes seeing a couple of the demons flying. Tyler watched as well his guitar still raised. "Use it Laura, your power." he looked down at her. she was still lost in what was happening. "LAURA" he yelled snapping her out of her daze. she raised her hand and all the demons started to raise slowly in the air. she watched in amazement as she willed the demons up in the air. Tes and DIana busted it out the door. Laura was startled and broke her consecration. the demons fell back to the ground. "LAURA." tess screamed as she saw her in the middle with tyler. she began tossing demons aside trying to get to her. Diana tore threw them as well. the other demons in front of them started to advance. tyler swung his guitar like a sword. chopping down them. he aslo used his fist to knock them out. laura punched a couple of them as well. one of them grabbed her from behind. tyler spun around and saw it. laura stomped on the demons foot and it let her go. she then used her power to fling him into the wall.

diana's teeth and paws dripped with the black blood as she tore through the demon horde. tess flung and fought them as well. the rest of the demons knew they had no chance and retreated. they ran off into the night.

tess was the one to speak up first. she jumped over the dead demons and towards Laura. "are you ok?" she placed a hand on her shoulder. laura stepped back and out of her hand. "what the fuck tess? what is going on! do you have something to do with this?" she snapped back at her. Diana walked, still in wolf forum beside tess. laura looked down and jumped at the sight. she backed into Tyler's chest. he laid his hand on her shoulder to calm her., and to her surprise it was working. "im sorry laura, I never told you. i was trying to protect you." tess looked away from laura.
"well now is a good time to start talking tess." laura walked past them and back inside. Tyler watched her walk away and back inside. "you never told her what she was?" he asked still holding on to his bloody guitar. "look its none of your business ok." tess snapped back and diana growled. "look im not trying to come in between you and her, im not. Im just trying to help." he spat back. "help? how can you help Orpheus." tess asked. "Tyler, I dont go by that name anymore succubus." he said rather angry. diana growled and turned to follow laura.

laura walked back into the room they had fled from earlier. she plopped down on the couch trying to take everything in.Diana came in and rested her head on laura's knee. laura looked down at her. "why? why you never told me?" she asked. diana just sat there looking up at her with puppy dog eyes whining. she didnt want to shift back and be naked.

"look what ever, I still have a show to finish. " he walked past tess and into the building. tyler saw laura sitting down on the couch. dian's head perked up and she growled. "oh hush." he said shaking his head. he stood in front of laura. "look I have a show to finish. stay here ok. hey hey." he noticed she was down. he bent down and kissed her forehead. "if they dont tell you I will, but it's their responsibility not mine." laura nodded and he walked off back on stage. she could hear the band start up and him start to sing.
tess walked back into the room and sat beside laura. "ok laura im sorry, as your guardian I was just trying to protect you. I been looking after you since you were born. My master only told me a little bit. He was going to need a high powerful witch to run a building of his after his has grown to old. Meph, He chose you and wanted me to keep you safe, being there was a prophecy of a power being turning from darkness to light. Your family are from switzerland, land of the norse and Laura I believe you to come from a certain type of magical creature, not sure which kind, so I just assumed you are a witch." She paused.
" it could go either way. the person born could be a great power to ether the evil or good. A guardian of both good and evil was assigned to watch over you. The good angel gave up on his duties and left, but neither could sway you just protect you. Diana is a werewolf as you could see and I am a succubus demon, but i retired from the life of evil. my main goal is to make sure you are safe. I suppressed your powers for as long as I could but you grew to powerful. I never meant to lie to you or anything just protect you. you had enough things to deal with like growing up." laura listen and nodded. she kinda understood. all the things that happened in her life this would have been to much for her to handle. now that she was a bit settled and more grown it was a bit better. "so a prophecy? about what?" she asked still confused on that part. "we really don't know. i told you everything I know. but those guys tonight, they were possessed with demons and working for someone who wants you for evil. They do not work for my master Meph, he is way more classy." tess looked down at diana who was now laying on the floor.

"and tyler? what is he?" she asked. "tyler is a demi god. was a legendary musician, poet, and prophet in ancient Greek religion and myth. The major stories about him are centered on his ability to charm all living things and even stones with his music, his attempt to retrieve his wife, Eurydice, from the underworld, and his death at the hands of those who could not hear his divine music. some centuries ago he finally made his escape from the underworld and settled here in the united states as a rock star. he changed his name but I still remember him. when you are a supernatural being you can sense another supernatural beings."

meanwhile the demons ran back to a huge mansion outside of new Orleans city. "master I’m sorry, the lead demon was on the floor begging in front of a large desk. behind it sat dark haired man. his features sharp, his skin pale and eyes blue. they started to turn a red color as he grew angry. he slammed his hand on the desk making the demon shut up. "on task, one. to bring me the witch." he spat out in his British/irish voice. "master Rhys she had help and her power...." the other demon spoke up. " help? what kind of help?" he asked lifting a brow. the demon looked down at the other one on the floor. "SPEAK" Rhys yelled. the demon jumped a bit. "Orpheus and her guardians helped her." he finally said in a whimper. Rhys stood up and walked over to the window. "Orpheus? so he escaped Hades." rhys ran his hand over his goatee. "go, i guess I will have to handle thing myself."he turned showing his vampire teeth and spat out. he watched the demons slink away.

the show was over and tyler walked back into the room. Diana was back into her human sporting some of the dead demons clothes. they were bigger than her and sagged. the three girls all sat on the couch talking. they stopped when Tyler walked in. he sat on the opposite couch holding on to his guitar.

he sat there quietly he didn't want to intrude. Laura looked over at him. "so did you know as well?" she asked him. he shook his head. "not really.they had something blocking it. us meeting was just a random act of the universe." he smirked. "nothing is random." tess spoke up. Laura closed her eyes and bits of her dream surfaced again. the man singing was in fact Tyler. she knew it. she opened her eye and shook it off. she didn't want to freak out or them to ether so she kept it to herself. "I just want to go and take a long shower and pass out." Laura stood up. tess and Diana stood up with her. she went to walk out but paused. "thank you tyler. for helping me out." he nodded and watched them walk out.

they reached tess' home in silence. laura drug herself up to her room and closed the door. it was so much to take in. she was a witch or something and had powers and all kinds of supernatural things were after her. even her friends were not what she thought they were. she hopped in the shower and washed all the dirt and blood off her. her mind then fell on tyler.

diana and tess were in the kitchen sipping on a couple shot to cool their nerves. "well that went better then I thought."tess looking up towards the stairs. "I dont think its over. she is bound to snap out her daze and start yelling and shit. I know Laura. she has anger issues. she was just calm in front of Orph...Tyler." dian took a sip and set her beer down. "yeah I noticed. there was something about them to together, i can't quite put my finger on it." tess took another shot. "But I know he would not harm her, I can tell he cares for her." tess saved her bottle of whiskey. "lets just get some sleep and pray tomorrow is a better day." diana agreed and went to take a shower as well. tess cleaned up the living room that Laura messed up before going to bed herself.

the morning light shown through Laura's bedroom window waking her up. she didn't want to really get up and face today, but a knock at the door dampened her plans. she peeled herself out of bed and ran down the stairs. she was still in her boxers and sleep shirt. her hair was a mess but everyone else was asleep. she finally reached the door and yanked it open. It was tyler. Or orpheus or whatever he called himself 'crap' she thought trying to fix her hair and hide behind the door. "Hey.. what's up?" she asked peeking her head out. "Did I catch you at a bad time?" he asked smiling at her as he saw her trying to hide. "I just got up." she still brushed her hair back. "Oh, well just wanted to know if you wanted to go get brunch or something?" he asked. laura tried to contain her excitement. after last night she didn't know if she would ever see him again, and here he was at the door. "sure just give me a minute to get dressed. she left the door open and ran up stairs. "you can come in and wait if you want." she said as she ran up to her room. Tyler walked in and closed the door. he then stepped down and into the living room having a seat where he sat yesterday.

Tess and Diana came down the stair to see who was knocking. "Oh look the bitch came back." Diana said smirking

tyler lifted a brow. "Hey I thought you were the bitch in this establishment?" tess busted out laughing. "yeah I like him." she said walking down into the living room and to the kitchen. Diana gave her a look. "ha ha ha." she said sarcastically. "so what are your plans guitar hero?" Diana asked crossing her arms. "well was gonna take laura out for brunch, don't worry i'll bring you a doggy bag back. and if you really good a wishbone. " tess spit out her water laughing in the kitchen.

laura came out her room. she noticed her friends were up. she ran down the stairs to tyler. "ok well let's get going." she grabbed his hand and yanked on him. she knew how they were. "Im watching you Orpheus always watching." diana said. "ok just no leg humping i'm not into that." laura's eyes widen as she laughed and pushed him out the door. she looked back and gave them a look before she herself walked out. "sorry about them." she said walking beside orph. "oh its ok, they just looking out for you." he walked beside her and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

the two walk to the Cafe Du Monde. it was crowded as always. they had to squeeze between people to make there way to a table at the end.
"so how you feeling?" he asked her. she took a deep breath. "a little confused but a little better. the headaches are gone, just dont know how im gonna get use to having powers." she sat up in her chair. "its not so bad once you get use to them. they are part of you so just need to learn to control them like how we control our emotions." he leaned back in his chair a bit. the waitress cam and took their order. "here, try and concentrate and move this spoon." he sat a spoon in the middle of the table. "try and make it stir my coffee."he sat his coffee beside it. "you can't stir your own coffee?" she snorted and he shook his head. "im just trying to help you learn your powers, but if you really want to know I think I pulled something..." he joked. "ok ok ok shut up." she said trying not to smile and she eyed the spoon. she used her eyes to lift it up and guide it to his cup. it shook a bit. "good good, you see you getting it." laura made the spoon go vertical and plopped in his coffee. a bit splashed.
"ops sorry." she cringed her teeth. "awe im burning..." he joked holding his hand. laura kicking him in the shin and he stopped. "ok sorry, you are doing good, now just a stir." he grabbed a napkin and put it in front of his face like a shield. she rolled her eyes at his dramatics. she then slowly made the spoon move in circular motion. he sat the napkin down when he noticed she was doing it.

the sun began to set in the Big Easy. The Vampire rose from his coffin and made his way down stairs. A large mirror hung in his bedroom, reflecting the contents of the room, all except the vampire of course. Rhys stood in front of it and watched it shimmer to his reflection and then to his master Samuel. “Did you find the woman who is to take Claire’s place?” Sam asked Rhys. “yes Master, She is in town and my servants have located her.” rhys watched sam laugh and bring a glass of whiskey to his lips. On his side the mirror the room was a warm gold color and the high rise of las vegas show in the windows. “ hold on goldie!” sam called out as he turned his attention to rhys. “Ether turn that valkyrie witch to our side or kill her. I don't want meph to have a plan B.” Rhys bowed a bit “ as you wish master.”

Rhys made his way out his home to look for Laura. it was his mission to find her and turn her to his side, the evil army he was helping raise. he need to stake her out to see how she was and how much Orpheus was involved. he didn't know to much about either of them so now was his chance to find out and give him an idea on a plan. he only knew he had to stay away from tess. she would spot him right away and run him off.

he walked down the crowded sidewalk. it was almost mardi Gras time and her knew it would be perfect time to seduce Laura. the crowds of humans would also give him much cover. rhys sniffed the air, the blood calling him out. he needed to feed before he could follow laura. he didn't want his hunger to get in the way. he found a couple drunk and cutting up. he reached out and grab the man. he tossed him against the brick building knocking him out. the girl went to run but her grabbed her by her hair and pulled her back to him. he covered her mouth as he sank his fangs in deep. warm blood rushing out into his mouth as he feed. he drained her dry and dropped her lifeless body. he then grabbed the male and drained him. when he was finished he whipped his mouth and whistled as he walked out the alley/ now it was time to find this Laura Taylor.

Laura couldn't stop laughing. tyler and her ran all over the french quarter doing silly things. she had a couple mardi gras beads around her neck from the bar they left. "so how long you plan on staying?" she asked him. "well our tour don't start back up till summer so Im not sure." he said as they walked together down the sidewalk. "I have a couple of gigs to do here cause the mardi gras celebration. but other then that.. " laura nodded playing with her beads. "sounds fun." she stared down at the side walk. "you are welcome to tag along," Orph told her. "oh im your groupie now? geez man how many titles are you going to give me?" she pinched is arm. he rubbed his arm. they walked off into the mall. he noticed the picture booth. "hey let's go take some pictures." he grabbed her hand and practical dragged her.

Rhys walked into the mall and up the stairs slowly. he reached the top and leaned over the railing and watched the humans below. rhys was about to give up his search in the mall but then he noticed a pair running to the photo booth. he stood up straight and narrowed his eyes smirking. he had found them. an evil grin spread across his face and he turned to walk back down the stairs.

tyler and laura squeezed into the photo booth. "Well damn never saw someone so happy to take a picture." she joked. he slide the money in the machine and wrapped his arms around her. the first picture was nice just a smile, but then they got silly. making faces and laughing. he then turned to face her. she was still giggling, but stopped when she saw him staring at her. the two of them were inches away from each other. noses almost touching. he reached down and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. she closed her eyes at his touch. something about him made her feel at ease. she opened her eyes to see him leaning closer to her lips. she then tilted her head a bit up towards his lips. as they were about to kiss the machine spit out the pictures and made a crazy noise like it was broken now. the two jumped. "damn woman, you broke the machine." he pressed the buttons to make them stopped making a nose.

"I did nooooot." Laura crossed her arms.he grabbed their pictures and handed her a couple of them. "now where to?" laura asked. "well Im not sure. don't want you breaking everything." she stuck him her tongue and got out laughing. he followed her out. as she got out the picture fell out her pocket without her knowing. Rhys noticed it and picked it up. "miss. miss." he walked up behind her. "you dropped these." he noticed the pictures and knew the two were getting a bit to close for his comfort. laura turned and noticed the man holding her pictures. "oh thank you." she took them from him. she smiled as she put them in her front pocket. she then looked up and back in the man's eyes. he was handsome and his accent let her know he wasn't from around here. "you are quite welcome ma'am." he smirked an looked at orpheus. he pointed, "Aren't you that singer , the one in the band who play in the house of blues yesterday?" he asked. tyler nodded. "yeah thats me." he couldn't quite get a read on him. "I hate to ask but, Im holding a Mardi Gras masquerade ball this Friday, I haven't had time to book a band so would you be interested?" rhys asked. Laura's eyes lite up. she always wanted to go to a ball.

" um I think i'm open," orph was quite sure if he should take it. something was off about him. "oh excuse my manners my name is Rhys Alexander. Im holding the party in my home, the oak alley plantation. I recently move here from Ireland and wants it to be sort of a house warming event." he looked over at laura and saw her eyes gleaming. he knew he had her. "well im sure I can mange it. ill have to look at our scheduled." orph looked down at laura. "oh i never been to a ball before." she said. "well you and your friends are welcome," he reached in his pocket and gave them both a business card. "please give me a call as soon as you can find out if you can perform." laura and tyler took the cards. "sure will Mr Alexander." orph said stuffing the card in his pocket. "well dont let me keep you two." he smiled and walked away.
Rhys watched them walk away slowly. the two were coming too close for his comfort. rhys took his cell phone out and dialed a number. "find out more about Orpheus and Laura Taylor." he hung up and stuffed it back in his pocket. he then turned on his heel and walked out to find his next victim.

laura and orph ran down the sidewalk laughing. the rain started to slowly come down in huge drops. "no not my hair." he tried to cover it with his hands. the reached tess' house and she yanked him under the covering that was over her door. she almost fell backwards but tyler caught her and placed her against the wall. the covering was small so her was inches away from her. he placed his hands on the wall as he hovered her. she looked up at him. "so how is the diva's hair?" she asked sarcastically. he looked up " its holding in there. "but really had to get you out the rain, witches and water you know." he grinned. "oh screw you." she punched him lightly in the chest. "no you just scared to get your weave wet." she rolled her eyes. "weave? weave? oh honey this is all me. 'he said inching closer. the door swung open. it was diana in her pajamas and glasses. "hey yall hurry up and get it on already so we can have some peace in here." laura face palmed and of course orph had a smart comeback. "sorry, do you need to be taken out for a walk? oh damn its raining you will have to use your potty pad." he tilted his head leaning on arm on the wall. Diana stuck him the bird and closed the door. laura and tyler laughed her ass off. she then went to walk into the house but tyler grabbed her wrist. "hey what about my kiss?" he asked. she lifted a brown. "i dont kiss on the first date." he pulled her closer. "technically this would be our third date." laura shook her head. "you never indicated this was even a date and how is this..." but she was silenced by his lips against hers.

lightening flashed and thunder rumbled as she kissed him back with equal force. his hands wrapping around her waist bringing her closer to him. her sweet taste was like fire on his lips. he had to have more. she reached up and caressed his jaw bringing him closer to her. laura never felt so alive. the blood in her veins rushed and her skin bubbled with excitement. never before had a kiss felt like this.

tess was inside sipping on a glass of wine while Diana paced the floor. "How much longer is she gonna be out there?" tess just watched her walk back and forth. "Diana really?" she shook her head. "no i will not calm thy tits. I don't know him and I don't trust him." she walked over and plopped by tess. "laura is a big girl, she knows what she is doing."

Tess and Diana decided to not go the the ball. they had other plans, like find out who was responsible for the attack at the club. Laura was so excited she could barely contain it. laura slipped on her mask over her face as she stood in the full mirror. she wore a blood red evening gown. it was tight up top like a corset and then flared out at the bottom like a old civil war gowns. she slipped her black groves on and walked out the door to catch a cab. she knew orphbwas most likely already there setting up with the band. her stomach was in knots and she couldn't stop fooling with her gloves. she was so nervous. she hadn't spoke to him since they last kissed, which was just a couple days.

the cab stopped in front the plantation and a servant opened the door for her. she stepped out and looked out at all the lights. it was as if out a fairy tale. the trees even had sparkling lights that twinkled. she noticed the other people enter in the front of the plantation. she picked up her dress and walked slowly towards it. everyone was in masks so laura could not tell that it was the demons who attacked her at the nightclub. they were the servants and they escorted her inside. she looked out over the crowd scanning for the band.

orpheus noticed Laura enter in the building. he watched her almost float down the steps and amongst the crowd. he sat down his guitar and hopped off the stage. he made his way through the crowd towards her. tyler wasn't the only one who noticed laura's entrance. Rhys stopped talking to an associate and caught the scent of her. he turned his head and watched tyler walk towards her. he smirked to himself knowing what was in store for the two.

"well well look who made it to the ball. the step sisters let you out?" he took her hand and pulled her close to him. the two swayed a bit to the music that was playing. "where is your mask?" she asked looking up at him. "hey im not batman ok." he looked around at everyone else. "oh my god, no you are not batman. batman could afford a tux." she smirked. "hey hey hey , im a rock god, I don't got by the rules, plus Im the hottest one in here, why cover my face?" he spun her and brought her back closer to him. "vanity is a deadly sin..." she hissed playfully. " yes and so is that dress you have on. Scarlet, for shame." he leaned down smelling her neck giving it sweet kisses. she felt a shiver crawl down her spin. how this man made her feel. "you keep doing that I might have to take you up stairs." she said sassy like. "ohh, you promise?" he got closer to her ruby red lips. "tyler, come on man." on of his band mates screamed at him. "alright!" he yelled back. "duty calls." he bent down and kissed her quickly. he then turned and ran up on stage. "welcome ladies and gentleman. Im tyler and this in my bad dead man's voice." he strummed his guitar and grabbed the mic and started singing. Laura swayed to the music by herself. losing herself in his voice.

one of the demons came up to rhys whispering into his ear. "sir she is here." rhys nodded. "show her in through the back. tell her to wait till i call for her." rhys then made his way towards laura. he stood beside her looking up at tyler. "he really does have an amazing voice doesn't he?" he smiled down at her. she looked at rhys then back to tyler. "yes he does." she smiled. "it was said Orpheus could tame even the wildest of beasts with his voice." she looked rhys as he spoke. "you know?" she was a bit confused. "yes mrs taylor. I know a lot of things. he smiled showing his fangs a bit. "you are a vampire?" she asked unafraid. "yes I am, and I sense your a newly learning witch?" he said a sly look.

tess and diana walked in the back of local restaurant Valhalla. tess knew the owner and hoped he would help her out on the demon hunting. the owner was an younger well built gentleman with dark blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, and of course on of tess' ex's, but they occasionally hooked up. he lead the ladies towards his office. his well Tailored suit and shiny shoes stood out amongst the white walls of his office. he brushed his long hair back and sat behind his desk.

"so tess, how can I help you." he asked watching them sit in the leather chairs across from him. Tess sat and crossed her legs while diana couldn't get comfortable. she kept moving making the chair squeak. tess looked at her and she stopped. "as you know my friend laura has came into her powers recently, I won't go into the long story, I think I already told you any way. she was attacked at a bar last week. I need to know who those demons were working for." tess asked. "look Im just Andhrímnir, cook for the gods. and let me say odin loves my special soup." he smiled studying tess. "Andy Look, Laura is our responsibility, I need to know who is after her. the prophecy..." andy cut her off. "awe the prophecy." he leaned back in his chair. "we all know. a warrior of great evil or good shall rise and change the course of the next age of the world either for good or for time of war, I know. but tess you are sway her in any way. she must chose. She is a Valkyrie and most chose for the good, believe me I know a ton of them" he blinked moving his hands with his mouth.

"I know that but damn it she is my family. I will protect her no matter what, I just need help finding out who did this that is all."tes sat up a bit. andy sighed. "alright, I will see what i can find out. so many beings come through here one is bound to spill the beans, especially over meed." he gave her a warm smile. "thank you Andrew. I really appreciate it." tess settled back in her chair.

"Ingeld, I mean Ian." he yelled out. Ian walked in trying to put his jacket on with one arm. "what happened?" Tess asked looking at ian's broken arm. the blond head smirked. Diana perked her head up when he walked. she sniffed the air a big. "well hello Ian." tess swatted Diana's leg to get her to behave.
"oh you know viking warriors, always fighting. in this realm and the next. Ian I need you to keep an ear out for trouble regarding the seidkona" he told his young apprentice. Ian nodded his head. the whole time Diana eyeing him. his broken arm in a sling stilled didn't stop his spunk. "you should see the other guy." he commented as he walked out. andy shook his head. "vikings, well if you need anything else tess just give me a call." andy stood up and reached out shaking Tess's hand and then Dianas. the girls walked out his office and through the restaurant. Diana noticed Ian at the bar talking with someone. "damn what I would do with that." tess elbowed her and laughed. "oh some on is in heat." the two giggled on the way out.

Rhys dance with laura as orpheus's band played in the background. "you look very lovely, the color of dress matched perfect with you skin." he said holding on to her hand and waist as they waltzed.

now glamour humans to do his will was a simple task, but another supernatural being even one as new to it as laura was no easy feet. her mind was still on tyler every now and then peeking over rhys's shoulder. "so what is it about him you like so much ms Taylor?" he asked. she smile and looked down. before she could try and answer he spoke. "you know how musicians are. they are only around for a small time before going to the next town and the group of young ladies holding on to his every word. you really think he would stay faithful to you?" he asked looking at over the crowd and to his demons. he then looked into the hazel eyes. she knew he was right but part of her didn't want to believe him. she shook her head. "no I don't think tyler..Orpheus would..." but her words were cut off again. he spun her and brought her closer. "A beautiful woman as yourself deserves a man who would stay by her side, to pamper her every need." he stared down into her eyes. "well im not every woman, I don't need pampering. I can take care of myself." she spoke kind of harsh. "oh I know you can ms Taylor. I sense great strength in you. strength and power that could rise above all. all you need is the right teacher. the right hand to mold the clay." his hand ran down her back. her gaze fell from torph and to Rhy's.

"no really a ghost person." she said. he didn't understand the movie reference. "ghost?" he asked wrinkling his forehead. "its a movie, you know Patrick swayze and demi more? oh never mind." she shook her head. "you are quite different than the women I usually come in contact with." he watched the crowd again. "is that a bad thing?" she asked. "no not at all, in fact it is intriguing to me." laura couldn't quite wrap her head around this guy. he was smart, and well off. what would he want with her? the sound slowed down and he dipped her. her head moving slightly back. rhys bent running his nose against her neck. he could smell her blood pulsing through her veins. her breath quickening to his touch. it was working.

his goatee tickling her skin making her pale flesh bubble up. she took a deep breath in and held it while closing her eyes. she didn't know what he was doing but she felt her body warm and tingle under his touch. rhys looked up at the stage to see if tyler noticed him dancing with Laura. he smirked up at him when he saw his face.

tyler saw Rhys dip laura and nuzzle to her neck. he could feel the rage built up inside of him. he wanted to jump across the crowd and catch him up by the neck. he took his frustration out on his guitar. he strummed it so hard his finger tips started to bleed. rhys could smell the blood and fury in the demi god. he lifted her back up and bowed at her. "excuse me I have something to attend to. please make yourself at home." he lifted his head up and walked to the back of the plantation. laura made her way to a table and sat down.

Rhys walked in the servant quarters where he told his demons and the a young woman wait. he opened the doors seeing her sitting on a chair. her long amber colored hair flowing over her forest green dress. "Eurydice, or shall I call you Eur" he walked up to her. " the journey from Hades was pleasant enough for you?" he asked kissing her hand.
her green eyes looked up at him as he kissed her hand. "yes thank you Mr Alexandra. May I ask why you call me here?"
he smirked letting her hand go. "I couldn't see a beautiful Nymph as yourself say locked up in hades for all eternity, plus you husband, I have found him." he placed his hands in his pocket. her eyes lite up. "Orpheus? you have found him? I thought he had been long lost." her face over joyed. "yes and he is here" rhys exclaimed. " oh rhys, but what would i say? we have grown distant over the past years and amy, she isn't even his." she exclaimed. "but he doesn't know that, I think you need to convince him of his new child, call it a payment for realising you two from hell." rhys said in a strict voice Eurydice nodded.

Orph finished the song and put his guitar down. he glanced at laura and then walked to the back where he saw rhys head. laura went to stand up to follow him, but decided not to. Rhys smelt tyler coming closer. "he approaches, remember what I said." he gave her a look as he walked out. "Rhys!" tyler shouted coming around the corner. he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Eurydice
2 months ago - Via Community - View - David Rigney : +Harry Potter Fan​ Hello Ian your head of house and your potions professor. We must beat Hufflepuff...
+Harry Potter Fan​ Hello Ian your head of house and your potions professor.
We must beat Hufflepuff...... Get those points!¡
2 months ago - Via Community - View - Tile Mural Store UK : Hello Ian, The tiles I ordered from you are now in place and I am delighted with them! Please find 2...
Hello Ian,
The tiles I ordered from you are now in place and I am delighted with them!
Please find 2 pictures attached.

Regards, Keith

3 months ago - Via Google+ - View - Bridge City Chem Dry : Hello Ian; thank-you for cleaning our carpets! You did a fantastic job. Carpet looks and smells brand...
Hello Ian; thank-you for cleaning our carpets! You did a fantastic job. Carpet looks and smells brand new. You were quick, courteous and knowledgeable. Thank you

Tom A. Post on Facebook
4 months ago - Via Google+ - View - Ian Macleod : This is a transcript of my chat session with AirAsia Tonight. I waited for an hour and a half just to...
This is a transcript of my chat session with AirAsia Tonight. I waited for an hour and a half just to see if i could actually get through to a customer care officer>

Illi Hello Ian Macleod. How may I help you today?

Ian Macleod Hi Illi, are you with the customer care team?

Illi yes, I am

Ian Macleod So this is the actual customer care dept?

I've been trying to contact someone from customer care for two days

Illi How may I assist you?

Ian Macleod Yesterday I rang AirAsia to speak with a customer care officer. After explaining that I have been overcharged with a credit card surcharge, I was told to go fill out a form on the Air Asia web site.
Reluctantly I filled out the form and explained that your website claimed the surcharge would not exceed $10.00 per flight and it was $36.00 that was for two tickets or $18.00 per flight.
A few hours later received a response that someone was looking into my complaint. Great I thought, they are on the job. Case No: CAS-16752121-9PGNF4 CRM:0745616 . Later today I was sent this automated response.

which did not address my issue at all. can you help me? Read

Illi One moment please. Thank you.

The chat has been closed due to long user inactivity.

Chat closed.Thank you for Using AirAsia Live Chat. +AIR ASIA

Start the chat again
5 months ago - Via Google+ - View - MarioKong : Shut up! Consider yourselves warned. We're stepping in the ring And won't let that lady sing It's over...
Shut up!
Consider yourselves warned.
We're stepping in the ring
And won't let that lady sing
It's over when we say it's over
Been brushing off our shoulders
It's not a twist of fate
We choose our own destiny
A trophy or a bruise
Champions never lose
I was at the mall the other day,
and this girl was wearing pants
that looked like she
literally pooped in them.
Look at us. We look
like two girls at a club.
Ah! More videos.
More videos! More videos!
What are you waiting for?
It's time to show the world
What they've waited for
Something like they've
never seen before
Seen before
We're just getting started
We're just getting started
Hello, little guy.
Cheese mobile! Check it out!
It's time to show the world
What they've waited for
Something like they've
never seen before
Lame. Lame. Lame.
We're just getting started
Just getting started
My eyes are, like,
must be 50 pounds or something, man.
That was fake.
Hey, I apologize. That's
all you can ask for.
- You suck.
- I apologize!
Hey, man.
Hey, dude.
Uh, glad you're here 'cause I need a ride.
Oh, I knew it.
You can't keep doing this.
You can't just order a pizza
every time you need a ride somewhere, okay?
Why not? You're already out driving around.
Plus my mom started charging me for rides.
- What's the big deal?
- The big deal is
I'm a working professional now
and you need to respect that.
You deliver pizzas.
I work in food distribution
for a multi-million dollar company.
Where you deliver pizzas.
Look, I've worked very
hard to turn my life around
in a very short amount of time.
Unlike you, I moved out
of my parents' house.
Into my parents' house.
Hi, boys.
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Hecox.
So will you both be
home for dinner tonight?
- Yeah.
- I can't.
I'm fasting to fit my... my
new pair of jeggings I just got.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Yup.
- Bye, Mom and Dad.
- Uh-huh.
- Bye, Son.
Bye. Thank you.
Look, I've got a good job.
I don't know why you can't see that.
Would we call it good?
$25 haircut, dude.
I used to only ever pay, like, 10.
My life is like a rocket ship right now...
going nowhere but up.
Yeah, I know you better than that, dude.
You're still the same old Anthony
who imagines Stone Cold Steve Austin
complimenting him in the mirror.
No, I grew out of talking
to him, like, forever ago.
You're working too hard, man.
You're out there
delivering pizzas for, like,
two hours a day.
It's high time you did
something for yourself.
Oh, yeah, like give you a ride somewhere?
I mean, I wasn't thinking that,
but, that would be great. Yeah.
Let me guess. You want
to go to the Game Bang.
All right, there he is.
That's my boy. Come on.
Let's do this. Yeah.
Whoo! Yeah!
Yo, Anthony.
You're doing a hell of
job balancing such as busy
- and complex life.
- Yeah, I know.
But you got to start
working your glutes man.
Looks like a loose lump
of Play-Doh down there.
- Looks bad.
- Yeah, okay.
I'll, um, I'll just do
some squats on my way out.
That pizza? Yeah, that'll be 10 bucks,
by the way.
Oh, dude, that's messed up.
You're gonna charge your best friend?
Did Steve Jobs give free iPhones
away to his friends? Nope.
Um, you're not the CEO of pizza.
Not yet.
Look at that dumb car.
- That's it?
- Yup.
I said 10 bucks.
Well, you know, I'm a cheap ass.
Ready to get your game bang on? Mm!
Hey, cool car dickheads.
Yeah, that is a cool car. You know why?
'Cause it gets me this.
- What?
- That's cold hard cash, son.
What do you have to show for
what you've done today, punks?
He just dropped some money on the ground,
- he doesn't even care.
- Oh.
- What?
- Really?
- That's it?
- For real.
- You see this watch?
- Yeah.
I won it playing skeeball.
Jesus, is that real?
5 carats, yo.
No one wears watches anymore.
Come on, like, all you got
to do is look up at the sun.
Like, right now, it's, uh, 4:0...
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Deal with it.
Yeah, that's a pole.
You know, we've been coming to this place
since we were, like, eight.
We should be out doing cooler stuff.
- Like what?
- Like meeting girls.
Like other stuff people
do that are our age.
Um, no can do.
I'm kind of seeing someone.
Uh, no you're not.
You leave creepy comments
on a YouTube video
of a hot girl getting her butt massaged.
That's, uh, that's not the
same thing as seeing someone.
Do I see her?
Look, you never even talk to her.
She's flagged every
single one of my comments.
Yeah, for being a perv.
No, man. She's just playing hard to get.
Pocket Slave Monsters
- You now work for me
- Dude, look what it is.
Magic Pocket Slave
Monsters. Come on.
Dude, I can't believe they got this thing.
- Do you remember this?
- Yellow rat.
I choose you against your will.
Now get out there and murder your friends.
Oh, it's a lot more
violent than I remember.
What? No, dude, it was always like this.
I want to be the master
I want to flip the switch
I want to capture all these guys
How lame.
And make each one my bitch
Stop! Stop! Please.
- Come on, man.
- What?
- Dude, this was our jam.
- What?
We used to love the game and the TV shows
and the erotic fan fiction.
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh, yeah.
That was a long time ago, Ian.
Not really into that kind of stuff anymore.
Come on! Did you see those girls?
Come on, dude. You loved it.
I'm worried about you, man.
I don't think you're
living in the real world.
The real world sucks.
The real world is actually pretty amazing.
So, the kids that are
probably taking a dump
on the cheese mobile, they're amazing?
And what about all the
girls that are walking around
that aren't talking to
you? Are they amazing?
And these girls would talk to
me if you weren't here dancing
to the theme song from Magic
Pocket Slave Monsters.
Then who wants them?
I do!
Look, I got to go. My ten minutes are up.
- I'm still on the clock.
- What?
- Have fun.
- Wait.
Dude, how am I supposed to get home?
Sorry, one of us has a job here.
Just take a cab or something.
I'll be home after my shift.
Do it, do it!
Do it! Do it!
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!
Hey, get off my cheese mobile.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, get out of here.
Do you have a name for your butt?
May I suggest, "Perfect"?
Hey, Ian?
You've been seeing that
girl for a few months now.
When do we get to meet her?
I don't know, Mom. We're
not rushing into anything.
- Bye.
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
- She seems lovely.
She's amazing.
just... make sure she's not a dude.
Unless you're into that sort of thing.
In which case, it's totally cool.
Great talk, Dad.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, I, uh... We haven't gotten our mail
in, like, three months. What gives?
Yeah, you might want to ask
your little friend about that.
- Who Ian?
- The bowl-headed idiot
with the face you just want to punch?
- Yeah. Ian.
- Yeah, I'm done delivering mail
to this house.
You want your mail? Oh, you want your mail.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Let me get you your mail.
Here's your mail. You want your mail?
- Oh!
- There's your mail.
You must want your package, too.
Here's your package.
From now on, you get your
mail at the post office.
Hey, what did you do to the mailman?
Nothing. Why?
You know what you did.
Seriously, man? Butt Massage Girl again?
She's my girlfriend and
she has a name, you know.
Oh, really? What is it?
I don't know, but I'm sure she has one.
You know nothing about that girl.
Uh, she likes butt massages. I know that.
What does her face look like?
Like a butt. I think.
Look, it doesn't matter. We're a thing.
Sure, our love is maybe a little
unconventional, but it's real.
She really cares about me.
Dude, we got some letters here.
If it's from my grandma, check for Anthrax.
Dude, we got an invite to our
five-year high school reunion.
When is it?
It is...
You do realize what this means, right?
Free tacos?
Yeah, free tacos, but more importantly...
Anna Reed's probably gonna be there.
Ugh, Anna Reed? What is it
with you and this girl, man?
All right, fine.
Get it over with.
All throughout high school,
Anna Reed was the only girl
I'd dream about.
She was the girl of my dreams.
They'll buff our feet.
It's gonna be awesome.
You know, I was so awkward back then
I didn't know how to talk to girls.
Hi... hey...
What's up?
So, um, this weekend,
I'm doing the Moonwalk
for Ring Finger Largeasia.
I'm moonwalking 37 miles to
raise awareness for people
whose ring finger is longer
than their pointer finger.
It's a very important cause
and one that's dear to my heart,
because, see, my Uncle
Keith, he died of it.
Jesus, that's...
I'm really sorry for your loss.
Would you wanna sponsor me?
Uh, um...
I mean, if you can't because of the money,
that's totally fine.
No, no, I have a ton of money.
Oh, great!
Actually, that's a lie. I don't...
I only have 5 bucks and
that's my porn money...
corn money!
That's my corn money.
Oh, well, that's okay.
Um, maybe you could just join me
and we could moonwalk together.
I could use the moral support.
It's probably gonna take
me a couple of weeks.
37 miles, you said?
Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll do it.
You will?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Amazing!
- Whoa!
- Oh!
Dude, seriously?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then you wussed out and you
never showed up to the Moonwalk.
Dude, I've heard this
story a million times.
What's your point?
That this reunion is
the perfect opportunity
to make Anna forget about how big of losers
we used to be, you know,
show her how cool we are now?
Are we cooler now than
we were in high school?
Uh, $25 haircut, dude.
Here, I need to check the reunion page
to see if Anna's going.
It says to dress for mall.
We dress for the mall every day.
No, it's saying "dress formal. "
It means we have to rent tuxedos.
Yeah, I know that.
Oh, well, guess she's not going.
So, about the tux rentals, we
should probably get on that.
It doesn't say that, okay?
She's going. She just hasn't replied yet.
Okay? I can feel it.
Look, someone posted a video on here.
Have you thought about
life insurance lately?
Because here at All-Chafe,
we want to protect your family
from your impending death.
Ugh, I hate advertisements. Skip it.
If you don't buy All-Chafe Insurance,
there's a good chance your
entire family will be dead
by next week.
That still exists?
Everybody put your hands together.
Is Magic Pocket Slave
Monsters the best song ever?
Dude, that's you. Cool!
Anna Reed, get up here,
get up here, Anna Reed.
Right there. I really want you to see this.
Hit it, Mr. Ellis!
I wanna be the master
I wanna flip the switch
Dude, that's awesome, you're...
You're, like, doing
flips and stuff, kind of.
My butt!
Oh, no. God, I can't believe
this is happening to me right now.
Well, I mean, it's not
happening to you right now.
It happened five years ago.
Look at the views. There's 301 views.
That's like the entire attendance
of a football stadium.
You know, in a small town
with a high school team
whose record is, like, five and five,
and they're not terrible,
but they're not great,
and they're losing a lot of close games...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it.
If Anna sees this video,
it's gonna remind her
about how much of a loser I used to be.
And the fact that I'm
super-cool now won't even matter.
I can't go to this reunion now.
I have to stay here at home
and never know if kissing Anna
really feels like licking a wet donut.
All right, dude, if you
don't go, I don't go.
Mostly 'cause I don't have a car.
And will it hurt to miss out on free tacos?
Sure it will.
Like a son of a bitch.
But you're my best friend,
and I got your back.
- Thanks.
- Okay, we're not giving up yet.
Anna Reed hasn't replied
to the invite yet, right?
So, she probably hasn't been to the page.
She probably hasn't even seen the video.
You're right. So all we have to do is...
- Is go to the reunion.
- go and get the video removed
from YouTube before Anna sees the video.
Thank you for calling
YouTube. This is Stephanie.
How may I direct your call?
Hi, Stephanie. My name is Anthony Padilla,
and I have a very important
issue I'd like your help with.
I need a video removed and
never shown on your website
ever again.
Okay. Are you a rich
and powerful corporation
that can threaten us with legal action?
- No.
- Then I can't help you.
Didn't work.
Well, that doesn't really matter, dude.
The video's awesome.
It won't be awesome when Anna sees it.
I think I have an idea.
This is never gonna work.
If you want something done right,
you just talk to the right people.
And you got to look them
dead in the eye and beg.
Hey, do me a favor, let
me do all the talking.
Okay? Your people skills are terrible.
What are you talking about?
I have amazing people skills
Oh, let me get that.
- Oh!
- Ah! Aah!
I am so glad that happened.
That was the funniest
thing I've seen all day.
Good day, sir. Good day, sir.
I did that. I did that.
Hi there, darling.
I am a very important, big,
rich CEO of a powerful company.
And I am his boss.
Well, now, Ian, a CEO
does not have a boss, okay?
I beg to differ, Anthony,
because I am the CFO
and that's one letter higher than CEO.
Well, Ian, you must've misheard me,
because I'm actually the CEOO,
which has one more letter,
so it's more important.
Hey! It's you.
I know you.
You're the kid from that crazy video
You're the Backflip Microphone Guy!
It's the guy! This guy. You know it.
She got it. She knows what it is.
Okay, that's actually why we're here.
Okay, I have a question for you.
When you regained consciousness,
and you fell off the stage
and you landed on the mic,
did the whole thing go up your ass?
Or was it some sort of, like,
special effects wizardry?
Okay, can we just keep it down, please?
Okay, 'cause I was watching
with my husband... Sorry, taken.
And he was like, "Where'd
the microphone go?"
And I was like, "I think
it's in that boy's ass. "
Okay, that's enough, okay?
You will not take that tone with me.
You're right. I'm sorry.
Okay? It's just that my friend and I
have a very important
issue we need to discuss.
It's a matter we'd like to take up directly
with the CEO of this establishment,
if you don't mind.
So, is Mr. YouTube available
to see us right now?
Mr. YouTube?
Yup, we're going straight to the top.
Okay, first of all, the CEO of YouTube
is not just gonna sit down
with two random guys off the street.
And even if he did, I'm pretty sure
the guy's name is not "Mr. YouTube. "
Mr. YouTube will see you now.
His office is just at
the end of that hallway.
I don't care what Billy Snapchat says.
Billy Snapchat is a little bitch.
I'm Steve YouTube. What I say goes.
No, I had lunch with Sally Instagram
three days ago.
She and Roger Facebook are in.
Now, if you don't want
to get on board with this,
then you are a stupid jerk idiot.
Sorry for the French.
All right, I got to go.
I've got two random guys in my office
I've never met before, and
they need something from me.
And I can't keep them waiting.
Sorry about that.
That was Ted Google.
Guy's been a pain in my butt
ever since he bought my company.
Hi. Steve YouTube. Pleasure to meet you.
- Hi.
- I don't touch. I don't touch.
I'm Ian and this is...
Backflip Microphone Guy!
Dude, that is one of my
all-time favorite videos.
What can I do for you guys?
Well, Mr. YouTube...
Oh, no, no, no. Please.
Call me Steve. YouTube.
Call me Steve YouTube.
Okay. So, Steve YouTube,
I need that thing...
- Awesome video.
- Shh.
I need that thing that you mentioned...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the video.
- Hilarious, right?
- Hilarious.
Shut... uuuup.
Okay, so, yeah, I need that video removed
from your website, please.
Ah, yes, yeah.
I got to be honest with you guys.
This thing... this kind
of thing happens more
than you would imagine.
Not the microphone thing.
But the embarrassment thing.
And here's the problem.
Once a video is uploaded to the
Internet, it's there forever.
Your best bet is to actually
go into YouTube itself
and change the video from the inside.
So you mean, like, go into YouTube,
like, Tron-style?
No, you're messing with us, right?
- There's... you... what is this?
- Yeah, that's not...
- That's not possible.
- That doesn't sound possible.
Hey, guys, I'm Steve Friggin' YouTube.
If I say you can get up inside YouTube,
then you can get up inside YouTube.
I did not mean for that to
sound sexual. I apologize.
What I should have said is, if
you wanna penetrate YouTube...
That was worse. You know what?
Forget it. My point is this.
I have to do this kind of
thing for people all the time.
You guys remember Gangnam style?
Do you remember that video by that...
I think it was a Puerto Rican guy?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, you think Psy nailed
that video on the first take?
Nope. I actually think I have
the original video right here.
Check it out.
Hey, sexy lady
Up, up, up
Up, oh
Gangnam style
It's so bad.
Right? I mean, there's
not even a dancing horse.
How hard is it to get a horse to dance?
Probably not that hard.
It's very hard.
No, no, no, this is
perfect. This is perfect.
So how do we, uh, get inside
YouTube to fix our video?
Great question. Simple answer.
There's actually a portal
right under my desk.
- A portal?
- That doesn't sound right.
This, um, this doesn't seem safe.
Guys, it's me, Steve, YouTube.
Steve YouTube.
If I say there's a portal under my desk
that will get you into YouTube,
there's a portal under my desk.
It just kind of seems like, you
know, we might crawl down there,
and you might have your
wiener out or, some...
- Excuse me?
- Definitely your wiener.
Excuse me.
I don't know what kind of
meeting you thought this was.
Frankly, I find that suggestion offensive.
I'm Steve YouTube. I created all of this.
You think I would jeopardize
that by putting my,
what did you say, "wiener" out?
I don't think so. Now, look, I'm very busy.
You guys can see yourselves
out. If you don't wanna change
the video, you don't
wanna change the video.
Janice, get me Bethany
MySpace on the phone, please.
No, no, no I... It's
cool. We're gonna do it.
We're gonna change our video.
- Yeah, just crawl...
- Really?
- All right.
- Yeah, go right around
- the desk and crawl under.
- Let's do it, man.
And go to the portal.
- Whoa!
- Oh my...
- What?
- Dude!
- Damn it! Put it away!
- Oh! That's not...
You thought there was
a portal under my desk,
and you saw my wiener.
That is the best joke ever.
So there's no portal, then.
You're just messing with us.
Of course there's a portal.
But it's not under my desk, you morons.
It's behind my closet door.
- Go on.
- Okay.
Yeah, it's just right there. Go on in.
Um, yeah, this doesn't
feel very safe either.
Guys, I had my fun,
okay, but fun time's over.
Not everything in life is a wiener joke.
Holy shit!
- Whoo!
- Whoa!
Take these.
What do we do with these?
Gentlemen, meet Diri.
She'll be your guide
once you're on the inside.
Hello, Ian. Hello Anthony.
I hope I can be of service to you both.
Wait, her name is "Diri"?
That's right. She's a
personal assistant software.
- So she's like Siri?
- Hey. Hey.
We don't draw that comparison here.
- You understand me?
- It's just that...
Hey, Bieber, you understand me?
Diri and Siri, it's kind of...
It's... it does kind of sound similar.
People are gonna draw the conclusions.
- It sounds...
- I'm gonna have my R&D team
take a look at that. Now listen to me.
Diri is gonna be your guide
once you get through that portal.
Anyplace you need to go, you tell Diri,
she will take you there.
Like, Siri.
Okay. Cool. Cool-cool.
All right. Safe travels, gentlemen.
You sure you want to do this?
Yeah. If I don't do this,
I'll never be anything to Anna.
All right. I'm with you.
- Ready?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- B.
- F.
F. Let's go.
Let's do it.
- Ready?
- Yeah.
- Let's do this.
- You first.
Good luck!
What the hell is this, dude?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Oh, man.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Look out below!
Whoo! Whoo!
Did we do it?
Are we in YouTube?
I don't know. It doesn't
really feel like YouTube.
Have you thought about
life insurance lately?
'Cause here at All-Chafe,
we wanna protect your family
from your impending death.
Yup, we're definitely in YouTube.
It's this friggin' advertisement.
If you don't buy All-Chafe Insurance,
- there's a good chance...
- Diri,
can we skip this ad, please?
Sure. Let me help you with that.
Uh, yeah, Diri, could
you also go full screen?
'Cause we can't see zilch.
Certainly. I can do that.
That's better.
Diri, where are we?
Anthony, you are in a bear attack video.
Diri, get us out of here.
You said, "Get me a beer. " Is that correct?
What? No! I said, get us out of here!
Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier.
And welcome to Gorilla
Chainsaw Massacre.
As you can see, I'm a pissed-off
gorilla with a chainsaw.
Doesn't really make a lot
of sense, but then again,
I don't really care.
Diri, help!
Taking you to Yelp.
Leave a review online.
- What?
- I hate you.
A gorilla with a chainsaw.
I don't have a full grasp on human speech,
but I can operate a gas-powered chainsaw?
Oh, God!
Diri, get us out of here now!
There is no reason to yell at me.
Die, puny humans, die!
- Ah!
- Oh!
Wait, are we...
I think we're home.
Diri, what the hell is your problem?
I'm a piece of intelligent
software, not a mind reader.
And I would greatly appreciate
if you would refrain from using expletives.
Don't think that just
because you're super-hot,
you don't have to be specific.
- What?
- What?
Anthony, check this out.
Here's your pizza.
I remember this video.
I shot it three months ago.
Such an idiot.
You're looking pretty hot, yourself.
Call me up later, right?
You wanna see a little skin?
It's gonna blow your mind.
No, I'm sorry, I'm not allowed
to take off my shirt, but, uh...
give you a little bit of that...
You were filming this?
I was bored.
Hey, boys.
- Hi.
- Hi.
This is so weird.
Yeah. Yeah, I work out my glutes.
Just imagine this in jeggings.
Oh, dude.
Check this out.
What are you doing behind that tree?
Just watch.
Here it comes.
Take this, Mailman!
Yeah! Yeah!
Take it!
Dude, I have to wear this all day.
Deal with it, bitch.
Oh, man.
Well, this explains why the mailman
stopped delivering our mail.
God, I'm so funny.
Milk balloons.
Classic Ian.
It was kind of a jerk move, dude.
Come on, man. We used to do
milk balloons all the time.
Yeah, when we were kids.
You little bastard.
Okay, okay. We get it.
Do you realize what this means?
Yeah. I should've used bigger balloons.
That guy was barely soaked.
No, no, no!
The mailman punched you in the face, right?
That means we can actually
interact with these videos.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
All right, so I'm gonna
get some bigger balloons
and more milk...
No, no, no, no.
Just stay focused, man. Come on.
Diri, take us to our
graduation night video.
It's time for some redemption.
I am now taking you to Jenna Marbles.
Wait, what?
Now she's just screwing with us.
Listen, if you're a guy
and you're wearing eyeliner,
not like Halloween eyeliner
or anything like that,
like all-day, everyday
eyeliner, I got news for you.
It's hot. I like that. Keep
doing what you're doing.
What the hell, man?
Diri, damn it!
Jenna, I'm really sorry, okay?
Just forget we were ever here.
- We'll just be on our way.
- Hold on.
Jenna, it's me, Big Rod 91.
I've commented on a bunch of your videos.
Oh, yeah! I know exactly who you are!
You kidding me? No idea.
Okay Jenna, actually, this is
gonna sound crazy, but Steve...
Steve sent you here to
fix some crappy video
that you guys messed up on. That right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And then he gave you
these phones, but Diri's
being an unhelpful little bitch.
- Oh, my God, yes!
- Yeah, I know.
Screw you, Jenna.
Whatever. I know a shortcut.
Just use the web address for the video.
You don't even need
Diri if you just type in
the web address to the video
that you want to go to.
Wait, hold on. We don't know the address.
That's gonna take forever to guess.
Yeah, Jenna. That's a dumb idea.
- Bitch.
- Yeah.
Well, then I don't know what to tell you.
But whatever you're gonna
do, you got to do it quick.
- Why?
- Steve didn't tell you?
See, these phones and
Diri are your only link
to the outside world.
And if the battery life dies,
you get stuck in YouTube.
- Forever. Just like me.
- Wait, what?
Hey, Jenna, seen my hair scrunchie?
No, I haven't seen your scrunchie, bitch.
Are you kidding me? She
looks ridiculous in those.
I don't even know why she wears them.
She's not even hot. She's like a six.
Look at her. Nasty.
Don't tell me what to wear, bitch.
What did you just say to me?
Come and say it to my face!
- You know what, bitch...
- Okay, I know you really
want to fix that video,
but we can't get stuck
in here, dude. We just need to go back.
We're gonna be fine. We have
plenty of battery power left.
This is my only chance.
So we're just gonna guess random addresses?
Yeah, okay?
The address for the grad
night video started with
YouTube. com/something...
I got it. Let's split up.
It always works in the movies.
This isn't a movie, okay? It's real life.
We can't just split up.
Well just, can you just trust me on this?
You know, okay, fine.
We'll meet back in 15
minutes. How about that?
- I hope this works.
- Of course it'll work.
- Ready?
- Yup.
- Put your address in.
- Hello?
You're acting like I'm not even here.
Shut up, Diri.
- All right. Ready? Got it in?
- Yup.
- All right.
- And...
Three, two, one, go!
What the hell is this?
Oh, God, no! Oh, okay.
Welcome to the party, bro!
Hey, you forgot your costume!
- Don't even sweat it.
- What?
You're a kitty. Bunny twerk, bunny twerk,
- What? Oh! Oh, God!
- Bunny twerk, bunny twerk!
- No! Oh! Oh!
- Bunny twerk, bunny twerk!
Bunny twerk.
Oh, my God, I remembered the right address.
Hello, there.
Who the hell are you?
It's me, Big Rod 91. Your boyfriend.
You flag all my comments.
Oh, my goodness.
Big Rod 91?
I'm sorry about flagging all your comments.
I was playing hard to get.
I knew it.
What are you doing here?
Oh, it's a long story.
Well, pull up a table. We've got time.
If you want the best
taste you've ever seen,
go out and get yourself
some Stone Cold Creamy Cream.
And that's the bottom line.
Stone Cold Steve Austin?
- Oh, my God, it's me, Anthony.
- Who?
You know, we talk in
the mirror all the time.
Wait, you sell ice cream now?
Yeah, it's my new gimmick.
Stone Cold Creamy Cream.
It's the best.
Don't you think people
will get that confused
with Cold Stone Creamery?
Never heard of it.
Anyway, so I have a problem
I need your help with.
I embarrassed myself in
front of this girl I love
by doing a flip and then
landing directly on my face,
and then getting a
microphone shoved up my...
Mm. That's not good.
Yeah. So now I need her
to think I'm cool again.
What would you do if you were me?
Well, I'll tell you exactly what I'd do.
I'd hit her with the Stone Cold Stunner.
Oh, my God, of course you would.
- That's your move, man.
- Exactly.
Yeah, so you're basically saying
I should come up with my own move.
Not try to impress her, but just be myself.
No. I'm telling you, you need to hit her
with the Stone Cold Stunner.
Maybe even from a top rope.
Right. So I need to
climb to the top rope too,
and not be afraid of falling.
And I'll never know what I'm capable of
if I don't just get out there and try.
No, that's not what I'm saying!
I'm telling you to grab
her by that stack of dimes
she calls a neck, drop her
ass with a Stone Cold Stunner.
Yes! Oh, my God.
Stone Cold Steve Austin, you're the best.
I can always count on you.
Oh, why didn't I think of that?
Kid's on 'shrooms.
Stop. I can't stand
the silent treatment anymore.
Take me back, Anthony, and
I'll do better, I promise.
One final chance, that's
all I'm asking for.
Okay, fine. One final chance.
Okay? Take me to Rockville
High Graduation Night 2009.
Sure, I can help you with that.
See? It was that easy.
Damn it, Diri, this is not what
I asked for and you know it.
But this is it.
It's Rockville High Graduation Night, 2009.
- I swear.
- Anna?
Who is Anna?
Hi, everybody, or, you
know, the three people
that actually watch my stupid vlogs.
Mom, Dad, Uncle Keith's ghost,
tonight is graduation night.
I can't believe it's really her.
She's getting ready for
the graduation party.
Anthony, we need to talk.
Shh. No, we don't.
So, I did the Moonwalk
for Ring Finger Largeasia
last weekend.
37 miles.
The doctor says I'm never
gonna walk right again.
But some things are worth the sacrifice.
So there's this guy at school,
um, he was supposed to meet me for it,
but he didn't show up.
And it's weird because I
really thought we had something.
I don't know. I like the guy but...
I guess moonwalking 37 miles
would be a pretty weird first date.
That was supposed to be a date?
Maybe he'll be at the party tonight,
and we'll see if there's something there.
Otherwise, I am totally fine
with talking to you three fine people
out in internet land,
until you get bored of me.
And also, I've prepared a statement
for those victims of Ring Finger Largeasia.
Don't ignore me, Anthony.
Stop it! This is Anna Reed!
The girl I'm in love with.
The whole reason I came into
YouTube in the first place.
I think I just found out
she's in love with me, too.
Wow, you're easy.
What is that supposed to mean?
What does she have that I don't have?
Uh, a body, and a face, for starters.
Sincerely, Anna Reed.
Let's get out of here.
Who's there?
Uh, Uncle Keith's ghost.
- Uncle Keith?
- We have to go now!
You are never going to find your video.
It is no wonder that Ian does
not value your friendship.
Of course he does.
Oh, really?
Uncle Keith was a furry?
Oh, man, this feels great.
Is it weird to say that I
want this guy's hand on my butt
all the time?
A little bit.
Ian? What are you doing?
Oh, hey, man, check it
out! It's Butt Massage Girl.
You were supposed to be out looking
for the graduation night video!
What happened?
Maybe you didn't hear me,
but I found Butt Massage Girl.
Dude, she's amazing. We're kind of in love.
Hey, I know you. You're
Backflip Microphone Guy.
We've been watching your video all day.
You showed her that?
Well, I mean, it's a good video.
Why wouldn't I?
I mean, there you go.
- It's so cute, dude.
- It's so cute.
Oh, my God, dude, it's up to 748 views now.
That's like the entire attendance
of a football stadium
in a slightly bigger town
with a high school team
whose record is like,
- eight and two, and you know...
- This is why I like you.
they started the season off as underdogs,
so they, somehow, keep winning.
They're selling tickets like crazy and...
We get it, dude.
Ian, we have the video
address now. It's right here.
We have to go now before
Anna sees the video.
But... But, but, but, but, but,
- Butt Massage Girl.
- This is serious, dude.
It turns out, Anna is in love with me, too.
But, but... Butt Massage Girl.
We have to fix that video
and get to the reunion
more now than ever. Come on!
But I wanna stay here with her.
Dude, it's meant to be, see?
Ian, come on, man.
This isn't even real. It's just a video.
Our love is real.
I mean, we got our butts massaged together.
Butt Massage Girl?
Who the hell are you?
- It's me.
- You who?
Big Rod 91.
Oh, my goodness, it's really you?
Ian, I know this is hard,
but we only have 24% of
our battery life left.
Okay? We need to go now.
All right. Fine.
But, Big Rod 91...
Good-bye, Butt Massage Girl.
I have a name, you know.
Shh! Don't say it.
- It'll ruin the romance.
- It's...
Shh! Go, go! La, la, la, la.
Go now, go now, go now!
Massage my butt!
This is it!
Yeah, I mean, it's great and all,
but it has been a couple minutes,
and I could really use
another butt massage.
Shh! Keep it down.
Can't draw attention to ourselves.
Whoa... whoa...
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Dude, seriously?
What kind of a dumbass just
leaves that stuff laying around?
Not like a bad dumbass.
Like a... good dumbass.
Way to not draw attention!
There she is.
Look at her.
And there we are.
Man, we were such losers.
Look at my stupid haircut.
It only cost 10 bucks.
Ah! Whoo!
Okaaaaaay, graduates!
Are we all having a good time tonight?
I forgot how much this place sucked.
Is every-body havin' a good time tonight?
- Lame!
- Okay!
- We hate you!
- All right, coming up
on stage right now
to sing the theme song from
Magic Pocket Slave Monsters.
Really? Uh, everybody
put your hands together
for Anthony Padi...
Pa... dilla...
- B...
- F...
- We need to stop him!
- Go, go, go.
Me. The... the guy who's also me.
- Thanks, Mr. Ellis.
- Mm-hmm.
You rock, Anthony!
Is Magic Pocket Slave Monsters
the best song ever?
Yes! Yes, yes.
Whoo! All right.
We need a plan, and we need a plan quick.
Let's do this!
Well, I mean,
you could go up there and knock him out.
I'm too tough to knock out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoo, whoo, whoo.
Is that you?
- Huh?
- That guy, right there!
- Is that you?
- Um...
Is it me?
It's really hard to tell.
You are the only one
recording this here tonight.
Even if it was me,
I definitely wasn't recording it.
Dude, I was probably just taking a selfie.
"Selfie" wasn't even a term in 2009.
Anna Reed's in the house, y'all
Anna Reed's in the house, what?
Anna Reed, come on up.
Yeah. All right.
I really want you to see this.
Look me dead in the eye
and tell me you are not the one
that recorded this and uploaded it.
Obviously, it wasn't me, okay?
Hey, guys, I'm totally recording this,
and then I'm gonna put it
up on YouTube in five years,
probably right before our
five-year high school reunion.
Okay, it was me.
But I didn't do it to embarrass you.
I did it 'cause I thought
your flip was awesome.
Hit it, Mr. Ellis.
I wanna be the master
I wanna flip the switch
- Oh!
- Hoo hoo hoo...
That was awesome!
Look! You almost made it
all the way around that time.
And the crowd was super into it... see?
You made them all so happy.
Okay, I'm sorry,
but I didn't see how this could backfire.
Why would you do that to me?
I thought you needed a little reminder
on how funny you used to be.
I'm still fun.
Not like you used to be.
You used to be the best person
in the world to hang out with.
Then you got a job and an expensive haircut
and you moved out of your parents' house,
and now it's like you're embarrassed
to do all the stuff we used to do together.
You're just jealous
you don't have the awesome
new life that I have.
You didn't even want
to come here to YouTube
and help me in the first place,
and you're the one that uploaded this!
And ever since we got in here,
all you wanted to do is try to pick up
on your stupid little Butt Massage Girl.
Don't bring Butt Massage Girl into this.
See that guy over there? That's my friend.
- Oh!
- Oh!
My butt!
Ha ha ha!
Where did the microphone go, guys?
Oh, it's really deep in there.
That's my friend!
This video's gonna go viral.
Can we get a doctor?
That's my friend.
That's the guy I cared about
before he stopped liking cool stuff.
People change, Ian.
Get over it.
Take my haircut, for instance.
Okay... your haircut looks exactly the same
as it did five years ago!
Just 'cause you pay more for it
doesn't make it a better haircut.
Fight. Fight.
Shut up, Diri!
Stop! You're just gonna make this worse!
- No... give it back, dude!
- Stop! What...
Oh... baby!
- Oh!
- Uhh!
- Stop!
- No!
Stop it!
- You're a terrible friend!
- No, you are!
God, what...
- No...
- No!
Seriously, dude, no!
No... ah!
My mouth is full of rainbows!
Wait... is that guy high?
Tooth fairy's gonna make me rich!
Oh, God, he just had his
wisdom teeth taken out!
Oh, God...
Let go of the wheel!
You're gonna get us killed!
Let go... come on!
I have 11 fingers!
- Aah!
- Aah!
- Get off me!
- Let go!
Look at the cute little kitty!
Hey, little guy!
Whoa... whoa...
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Dude, seriously?
Damn it!
Sorry. Please don't hurt us.
Okay, look, you're right.
I have been a jerk lately.
I know I should have come clean right away
about the video, but...
once I saw your reaction to it,
I knew you'd be pissed.
I screwed up. I'm sorry.
Why don't you guys make out already?
Anthony, let's get out of here.
- Screw this guy.
- Diri, can you just shut up?
Okaaaaay, graduates!
Are we all having a good time tonight?
Lame! We hate you.
You know what?
I'm gonna make this up to you.
I got you into this mess, and
I'm gonna get you out of it.
Wait... where are you going?
Let him go.
It's just you and me now, Dreamy Eyes.
What did you just call me?
You heard me, you sexy little bitch.
Put your hands together for Anthony.
Anthony Padillo!
Give him a hand.
Thanks, Mr. Ellis.
You rock, Anthony.
Is Magic Pocket Slave Monster
the best song ever?
Hey, you got up here really fast.
I'm sorry, man.
Ouch! Ow! Ow!
What are you trying to do?
I'm trying to knock you out
so you don't embarrass yourself.
Told you I don't go down that easy.
- Here you go.
- Thanks!
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
Either I'm seeing what you're seeing,
or somebody spiked the punch bowl with LSD.
It's not. I made the
punch, and I only spiked it
with vodka.
What should I do?
Should I go up there and help him?
That's what a good
friend would do, I guess.
You're right.
How are you so tough to knock out, man?
Is your head made of steel?
Give it to him!
Stop hitting my friend!
Fight, fight, fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Come on!
Ian, look!
We only have 5% power left.
We have to get out of here.
What about fixing the video?
Forget it, it's too late.
Diri, get us to the portal now.
You said, "Is my Mom infertile?"
Let me check on that for you.
That's not what I said! You
know that's not what I said.
Damn it, Diri, this is not
the time for games, okay?
If we don't get back to that portal now,
we're gonna be stuck
here in YouTube forever.
And you would just hate that,
wouldn't you?
Stuck in here with me
for the rest of your life.
Shut up, Diri, this isn't about you.
You shut up, Ian.
You have poisoned the
mind of my dear Anthony.
What is it with you guys?
First, you idiots barge into
my office off the street,
asking for favors.
I am gracious enough to listen,
but then you won't even laugh
at my wiener jokes, even
though they are super funny.
Wait. Steve... is that you?
Uh... no, this is Diri.
I'm just some computer software
guiding you guys around.
I'm definitely not Steve
YouTube, whoever that is.
I mean, I've heard of
Steve YouTube, of course.
His wiener comedy is legendary.
Steve, dude, we know it's you, okay?
All right, fine. It's me, Steve.
YouTube... Steve YouTube.
Too bad you didn't figure
it out and hour ago,
because now I've got you trapped.
You're gonna live forever in YouTube,
making jackasses of yourselves in videos.
People love watching
jackasses doing stupid things.
It's our bread and butter here at YouTube.
And now, you're mine forever.
I knew that guy was a weirdo.
You're the weirdo!
We have to get back to that portal.
Anna is waiting for me on the other side.
Good luck trying to find the portal
without me to lead you there.
It's impossible.
Hoo hoo hah hah hah!
Hold on.
Wait, I have an idea.
What if we went into the viewing history
and followed the videos backwards?
That should lead us back
to the portal, right?
No, that won't work.
I mean, that definitely
won't work, I wouldn't even...
don't even try that.
We have to try the viewing
history, it's the only chance
we've got... come on!
You are gonna regret this.
You are messing with the wrong
super successful billionaire.
Found it.
Let's go.
Fine, you want to run from
me? I'm up for the challenge.
Here we go.
That's not it.
That's not it.
Is that it? Oh... there it is.
There it is.
Let's do this.
All right.
I gotta get my VR suit on.
Oh! Shoot me... ow.
My thigh.
All right, I'm just gonna
get my VR suit... oh, shoot.
Hold on, guys. Guys...
I just dropped my globe.
I just got a little
bit turned around, guys.
Got it.
Don't go anywhere.
Oh, Jesus. There it is.
My VR suit is in here.
Soon as I put that on, you're dead.
So I just gotta change
out of these clothes,
get my VR suit on, then
I'm gonna need a zip.
Janice? I'm gonna need a zip!
I'm putting the VR suit on,
and I'm gonna need a zip in a second.
Aw, look at the cute little whiskers.
- Shiny.
- Oh, God!
You boys can't escape Steve YouTube!
Dude, quick, get us out of here now!
I'm trying!
Oh. Oh, what's happening?
I think Steve's trying
to delete our history.
Delete, delete, delete, delete.
- Ian?
- Hold on, hold on.
Okay, five seconds.
Butt Massage Girl.
I know you're not real,
but I want you to know
I'm going to find the real
you once I get out of here.
- Dude.
- I promise you.
Come on.
And we're gonna fall in real love, okay?
And maybe one day, I'll be
the one to massage that booty.
I'd like that very much, Ian.
Hoo hoo hah hah hah! Hoo hoo hah hah hah!
You idiots think you can
get ride of me and YouTube?
I am YouTube, literally.
Hey, everybody.
Or, the three people that
actually watch my stupid vlogs.
Tonight is graduation night.
I love you, Anna, and we'll be together
some day, I promise.
If you want the best
taste you've ever seen,
go out and get yourself
some Stone Cold Creamy Cream
and that's the bottom...
- Ooh!
- Ugh.
So sorry, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
I love you too.
And your ice cream name
is really confusing.
Stone Cold Stun her ass, man.
I love that guy.
Why was this video in your viewing history?
Get us... no, no!
All right, look.
All I'm saying is that if you're a guy,
right, and you're...
Aw, watch the furniture!
Oh, hi, Jenna.
I think it's so hot that
there are two of you,
and that you're never getting out of here,
and that you're mine forever!
Screw you, Steve.
All right, you two.
I think we've had enough fun for one day.
Time to end this.
There it is.
Oh, shoot. Got it.
Die, stupid humans, die.
Oh, crap.
Dude, what the hell happened?
The video's buffering.
Ugh, see? This is one of my pet peeves.
It's 2014. Why is there still buffering?
Why hasn't this issue just
been resolved years ago?
It's an issue with the
bandwidth, it's complicated.
Let me see what I can do.
Janice? Are you streaming videos?
Can you turn off your AOL for a second?
I'm having buffering problems.
Aw, man, you're making it worse.
Don't get all bitchy with me.
I was just about to get
you guys with a chainsaw.
No, you weren't.
Yeah, we were just about
to jump to the next video,
there's no way you would
have gotten us in time.
Wait until this thing stops buffering,
and I will show you jerks.
And still no one cares this gorilla
can operate a chainsaw.
That's it. I'm coming in after you jerks.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Dude, the portal!
Come on!
- We're gonna make it.
- Oh, are you?
Steve, it's over, just let us pass.
Nothing's over till I say it's over.
I'm Steve. YouTube... I'm Steve YouTube.
I win, you lose!
Maybe if you two weren't
so great at making complete
jackasses out of yourselves,
I wouldn't have even
wanted you so bad.
We were so close.
You were so easy to manipulate,
Backflip Microphone Guy.
Steve, look behind you.
No. Not gonna fall for that one.
He's serious.
Steve, listen!
No, you listen.
- Oh!
- Oh, my... holy...
Oh, my... holy...
The bear!
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
Oh, my...
What the fudd... oh! God!
Come on, dude, we gotta go.
- Aah!
- Aah!
We made it. We made it, man.
Aw, man. That was a close one.
He almost had us. Stranger danger, bro.
Sometimes we forget.
It was my fault, and I never should have
made us go in there in the first place.
It wasn't worth almost losing my hetero
life partner over.
What? You'd never lose me.
And I'm sorry I was such a dick.
It'll never happen again. All right?
- F.
- F.
- Burnt French fries.
- What?
Dude, that's not what that means.
- It's not?
- No.
Big fat feet?
No, that's... that...
you're not even close, dude.
Oh, I've got it. Booger flicking friends.
Hey, it's them.
Ma'am, I'm really sorry, but we had to let
that bear eat Steve.
He was kind of a dick. Run!
What the hell are you talking about?
Come on! Ah!
It's only, uh...
6:19, so we still have time
to go home, change, and make the reunion.
Where's your car?
Uh, it... it was right there.
It must have gotten towed.
Yeah, great.
You are the worst at parking.
We won't ever let you go
Can't take anymore
I'm under control
Uh, why are we stopped
here? This isn't our house.
Uh, yeah it is, man, it says
right there on the mailbox,
91 Gerard Way.
This is our address.
Leave the door open in case we have to run.
And grab something really sharp.
That's literally the opposite of sharp.
There you are!
Why aren't you dressed?
You're gonna be late for the reunion.
Butt Massage Girl? What are you doing here?
For the last time, you're my boyfriend,
and you should call me by
my real name, which is...
I'm your boyfriend?
She's real, dude.
Ian, did you hit your head?
Wait, if this is our house,
where'd we get the money?
Are you serious?
The Clone Fight video.
Oh, my God. Are you guys on drugs?
I'm drunk in love.
This video of you guys
became the biggest
YouTube video of all time,
Then you got the TV show,
then you met the President,
then you made the movie,
and now there's even
Clone Fight Ruins Grad Night
on Broadway.
Broadway... that's always been my dream.
- We did it, man.
- Yeah.
We changed our entire lives
with that single video.
And I'm your boyfriend.
Like, for real, that's not a joke?
It's not a joke.
Wait, that means Anna...
that means Anna's here too, right?
Anna! Anna, where are you?
Who's Anna?
My girlfriend, Anna Reed.
You don't have a girlfriend.
I don't?
You have like, 30.
- Nice!
- Oh, my God, these...
These are all my girlfriends?
This is not a joke?
These are all for me? These are all...
Oh, my God, these are all my girlfriends.
You're all my girl... you're my...
You're my girlfr... You're my girlfriend?
- Oh, my God!
- They're your girlfriends!
Wait, is Anna one of... Is Anna...
Anna? Anna, are you...
are you one of them? Anna?
Uh, I don't think there's an Anna in there,
but your girlfriends
don't usually talk to me.
They're just super-hot bimbos.
Wait, I'm sorry, I can't do this.
Anna's the only one I
want. I'm sorry, girls.
I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Bye.
The reunion.
I can still see Anna at the reunion,
and I'm like, cool now,
like, actually cool.
And rich.
And famous. Let's go.
Hi, boys. Don't forget your tuxedos.
Man! We're rich and famous
but we still live with my parents?
Of course not, don't be ridiculous.
No, we live with you.
Wait, who are these guys?
They're our butlers.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Oh, this is your personal hair stylist.
How much does she charge for a haircut?
My asking price is $75.
Make it $85 and you've got yourself a deal.
Oh, that must be the pizza.
Bavooki's Pizza.
Oh. Awesome kick, bro. Wow.
Hold on, you're Steve YouTube, right?
It's pronounced
"You-too-bay. "
But you're the CEO of YouTube.
No, I'm not. I do food distribution
for a multi-million dollar company.
Hmm. Wonder who the CEO of YouTube is now.
I don't give a shit
what Julian Twitter said.
Julian Twitter's
- a little bitch!
- Yes, ma'am.
Hey, you can tell Joey Amazon
that I ordered my scrunchies two weeks ago.
- Sorry, ma'am.
- Next day shipping, my ass!
I am so sorry for all the trouble,
Mr. Pizza Delivery Man. Here's
a really big tip for you.
Oh, well, thank you so much,
and I actually have a
really big tip for you, too.
- You do?
- I do.
It's actually right inside this pizza box.
- Okay.
- No, Mom, don't look! Don't...
- Oh.
- Yeah.
That's funny. Funny.
Yeah, I think it's time for you to go now.
Well, enjoy your pizza.
I'm the best! "Steve
"You-too-bay," out!
Okay. Well, he seemed lovely.
I gotta say, rich or
poor, that man really does
commit to the wiener joke.
You have to respect that
on some level.
Oh, our limo's here.
Oh, well I guess we
better get dressed then.
Mm, mm, yes,
Alfred, please fetch us your finest wares.
Yes, Alfred, get me my tuxedo.
My name is Frank.
Ta-ta, gov'ner.
Our accents are so good.
Alfredo, can you fetch me some quesadillas?
- Ah, ha ha ha.
- Alfredo.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Ladies and gentlemen,
please give a warm
Rockville High "welcome back"
to our rich and famous alumni...
- Get off the stage!
- Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla!
Yeah. What's up?
- Yo, yo.
- Yo, good to see you.
Good to see you. Good to see you guys.
Get outta here, Moss.
So great to have you here.
So great!
Anything you need, just let me know.
I'm emceeing this little shindig.
We got a free taco bar over there,
so help yourself to whatever.
- Thanks, Mr. Ellis.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Tonight is gonna rock.
It's gonna rock balls! Whoo!
Anna's here.
Go get her, man. Go on.
I was a stranger and you let me in
Um, Butt Massage Girl and I are
gonna go start on that taco bar.
Hey, Anna. What's up?
Oh. Anthony.
Yeah, it's me.
I didn't think I'd see you here tonight.
Why not?
You know, you're rich and famous now.
Figured you'd have better things to do.
Well, I mean, yeah, I
do have a ton of cool,
rich, expensive stuff I could be doing,
but wanted to show up and see you.
Me? Why?
Well, because I wanted to
tell you that I love you too.
You came here to tell me you love YouTube?
No, no, no, no, I love you also.
I know you love me, and I love you,
and I've loved you ever since
the first time I saw you.
Hold on.
Love you?
Yeah, I saw your... I saw
your vlog, you love me.
Anthony, that was a long time ago.
You were a different guy then.
Yeah, I was a loser.
But I'm not anymore.
No. You were never a loser.
You were just... weird and quirky
and only showered, like, once a week,
but I liked that about
you. It was like you had
better things to worry about
than your looks and basic hygiene.
And now, you're like a guy who would spend
$80 on a haircut.
Look, I'm still the same guy, I swear.
Anthony, you're wearing a tuxedo.
I wore this tux 'cause I
thought it's what you wanted.
I'm sorry. It's just not.
Mmm. I don't know why I'm eating tacos.
They go straight to my butt.
Oh, really?
Yeah, that's horrible, right? Terrible.
So? How'd it go?
Well... I blew it.
Yeah, she liked the old me, the loser me.
I'm sorry, man, I dragged you
through all this for nothing.
Hold on, man. You made my dreams come true.
Look, I am dating Butt Massage Girl.
- I have a name, you know.
- N-n-n... don't.
Don't ruin the moment.
Yes, we're rich and
famous, but the real you
is still in there, just as stupid as ever.
And, on a long enough timeline,
all $85 haircuts become $10 haircuts
if you let them grow out long enough.
You're right.
Of course I'm right.
I'm always right, right?
- You're always right.
- Yeah.
You can do this, Anthony.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who here loves The Deadmau5?
Ladies and gentlemen,
our rich and famous
alumni, Anthony Padilla,
has a song he'd like to perform,
and since he's rich and famous,
I'm gonna allow him to do
whatever he wants here tonight.
Let's get ready to rock balls to
Magic Pocket Slave Monsters!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
That's my friend up there.
That's his friend.
This song goes out to a very special lady
out here in the crowd tonight.
You rock, Anthony!
Take it off! Take it off!
Hit it, Mr. Ellis.
I want to be the master
I want to flip the switch
I want...
I did the flip.
- He did the flip.
- He did the flip!
I did the flip!
You should be up there with him.
You're right.
Rock balls!
I want to capture all these guys
And make each one my bitch
I want to travel everywhere
Any chance I see
I'll rip a pocket slave monster
From his family
Magic Pocket Slave Monsters
You now work for me
Even worse, you work for free
Magic Pocket Slave Monsters
You'd better fight when I call
Or I'll castrate your balls
Magic Pocket Slave Monsters
Get back in your cube or
I'll kill everyone you love
I'm a heartless dick
You're crazy.
See, I told you.
How do I know this is real? How do I know
you're not just showing
me what I want to see?
Well, you're just gonna
have to trust me, Anna.
Wh... wh... whoa!
Dude, I think he's gonna be okay.
Wh... wh... whoa! Oh!
Nope, he's dead.
Oh, my God, call the police!
It really is you.
I'll never pay more than
$10 for a haircut again.
- I'm so proud of you.
- Wasn't I so good?
- You were so good.
- I'm so good at dancing.
You were so good.
Anna Reed's in the house, y'all!
Hi, I'm Anna.
Nice to meet you. My name's Brad.
What the fuck?
What... what
Okay, do it again.
M.C. Hammer time.
And, action!
I know it hurts
Cut. Get that mask off.
I know it hurts so bad
Yeah, yeah, my nipples are
a little hard right now.
Puttin' in a few hours at the gym.
I'll be the CEO of Pizza
Co., rollin' in the dough.
Yeah. Yeah, that was a pun.
CEO Anthony.
Right from the top rope.
Damn, I've never done it
in the top rope, that's why I'm
having a hard time with that.
- All right, here we go.
- And...
- Oh! I'm giving birth!
- Aah!
- I'm giving birth!
- Oh!
That was really early.
Who's gonna watch me enslave
all these cute, adorable,
fuzzy creaters?
I said "creaters. " What's a creater?
Just do the other guy's
line... do Ian's line?
"The other guy"?
- Sorry.
- "The other guy"?
It slipped out. It slipped out.
I'm out.
- You're the other guy.
- I'm the other guy.
I'm "the guy" and he's "the other guy. "
One, two, three, four
I can see a picture in my
head of someone spinning
I could always tell it was
the end of the beginning
When you coming over here?
There's no need for pretending
I try not to be callous
With the signals
that you're sending
I go, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl
To put an end to what you saw, girl
Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl
Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl
To put an end to what you saw, girl
I was a stranger when you let me in
I was a danger to myself and others
If I had a nickel
every time I heard
All their crazy thoughts
burning out of my world
Say oh
You hurt me on the radio
Couldn't let the feelings show
When I was on
the radio-o-o-o
- Oh, oh
- Hey, on the radio
- Hey, hey, on the radio
- Oh, oh, oh
Hey, hey, on the radio
Oh, oh, oh
Hey, hey, on the radio
Say oh
You hurt me on the radio
Couldn't let the feelings show
When I was on
the radio-o-o-o
I couldn't really let it go
I didn't want you to know
When I was on the radio
When I was on
the radio-o-o-o
Oh, oh
When I was on the radio
Oh, oh
I was on the radio
I couldn't really let it go
I didn't want you to know
When I was on
the radio-o-o-o
She's said she couldn't believe
Why I waste my time on this
Bullshit mentality isn't
a thing that I would miss
But I still remember her
Those days when used to
kiss on a lazy afternoon
Cigarettes and bottles of
wine living easy I presume
Now I can't stop wondering why
Why you have to be so
cold, frozen like ice
It's time for me to really
adore your new disguise
But pride is what
you threw in my face
And we played that game
Oh, no, it's the same thing
Every time you are frozen like ice
Baby, why'd you have
to be so cold-o-o-old?
She's said she couldn't believe
Why I waste my time on this
Bullshit mentality isn't
a thing that I would miss
Now I can't stop wondering why
Why you have to be so
cold, frozen like ice
It's time for me to really
adore your new disguise
But pride is what
you threw in my face
And we played that game
Oh, no, it's the same thing
Every time you are frozen like ice
Baby, why'd you have
to be so cold-o-o-old?
I have a raging boner right now.
Me too.
I love you.
I love you too.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay. Let's go, that's fine.
Let's go, let's go.
5 months ago - Via Google+ - View - ian macaraig : hi and hello
hi and hello
5 months ago - Via Google+ - View - Jane Sohn : Hello Ian my problem for some odd reason I keep getting emails about signing in as Jaded Jane and I ...
Hello Ian my problem for some odd reason I keep getting emails about signing in as Jaded Jane and I am not the one trying to do so. I left the phone was clear when I left and came home got to table opened up my phone mail samevthing over which is great cuz they can't get in. Its not high profile why is this happening
6 months ago - Via Google+ - View - Ian H. : Hello I'm new to the group, I would like to show you a epic video of me summoning blue eyes shining ...
Hello I'm new to the group, I would like to show you a epic video of me summoning blue eyes shining dragon on my first turn vs a burning abyss deck(meta). If you could give me tips for a more consistent shining deck that be great I'm still kind of a noob at devpro and still learning from my losses but this dual was the greatest I've had so far. If you have tips on how I may improve this deck I would happily appreciate it. Also this is my first youtube video tell me in the comments what you thought of it. thx :)
Watch the video: 1st Turn Summoning: Blue Eyes Shining Dragon vs Burning Abyss - DevPro
Watch as Blue Eyes Shining Dragon shines through the "Burning Abyss". Also my respects to GravediggerSun for persisting through it all and not quitting. This...
6 months ago - Via Community - View - Ian Arnold : Hello! Ian Arnold here. I have a B.A. in Humanities from the University of West Florida and a M.S. ...

Ian Arnold here. I have a B.A. in Humanities from the University of West Florida and a M.S. in LIS from FSU. I’ve worked the last eight years as an application developer at FSU in the Division of Student Affairs. I have extensive experience with HTML, CSS, Javascript/jQuery, PHP and web CMSs like Wordpress and Drupal. I’m taking this course as a refresher in Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator and hope to apply the techniques I learn to make more visually appealing front-end web designs. Looking forward to this class!
6 months ago - Via Community - View - Ian fox : Hello, My name is Ian Fox and I am from Nassau, Bahamas. I moved to Florida when I was 14 to attend...

My name is Ian Fox and I am from Nassau, Bahamas. I moved to Florida when I was 14 to attend high school. I am currently a senior at Florida State and expect to graduate in the Spring of 2017. I have no experience with web design but I hope that this class will both intrigue and challenge me throughout the semester.
6 months ago - Via Community - View - IÅℵ : || THEME: || "Faster Then A Speeding Bullet." - Valve. //
|| THEME: ||
"Faster Then A Speeding Bullet." - Valve.
// .

It was a peaceful day in the badlands. The birds were chirping as they soared elegantly through out the air... This bird was minding it's business as it soared above a beautiful. Suddenly, As if fate had it designated on the battlefield, A blu soldier, who was trying to shoot upwards at a red scout who was jumping towards their base, missed his shot and the rocket flew upwards at incredible speeds... It flied upwards exploding on contact... With the bird dying from it.

On to the battlefield of 2fort remained the two same sides locked in a full scale matches.. A certain 15 year old scout, Who acts more like a sniper seeing as he carried some weird sword sniper device, was sitting in the chair that remained in the intelligence room, guarding the case as he watched an engineer build his contraptions.

Comfortably sitting in the chair as his whites boots were placed on the desk next to the intelligence case while gripping his weapon tightly in his hands. He began to hear footsteps slowly getting louder heading towards the room. He lifted up the rifle and took aim while grinning lightly.

This noise was the result of just another red scout from earlier infiltrating the base. On his mind was just that usual cocky attitude that could perhaps rival that of a certain fast hedgehog. This red scout reached the end of the hall as the teen placed his finger on the trigger.. When the scout turned to see the teen and his sniper, his eyes widened in the moment of "Oh shit." All the while, the teen grinned.

"Heh, Should've been a tap dancer, dude...." He remarked as he pulled the trigger. A bullet was shot out of the machine and quickly towards the scout who was trying to move. However it was for nothing as the scout was hit directly in the head with blood now staining the ground which would probably disappear in a matter of seconds.

"They make great money." Ian "innocently" grinned, sticking out his tongue at the dead corpse taunting it. The engineer in the room lightly chuckled to his joke and continued to work on building his sentry. Suddenly another pattern of footsteps were heard coming from the other entrance. He turned his head to it as he was filled with curiosity...

The pattern was slower so either one, it was a heavy but that would be suicide without a medic. Two, a spy crouch walking towards the location, or three, the paranoid someone on blu team who was just walking in to say "Hello." Ian remained quiet as he waited for the person to come in.. Even if they were an enemy, He knew that the Sentry would back him up. As a result he almost lowered his weird sword-rifle and gave off a smile.

// This is kinda Overdue... Oh Well..
// Open RP to anyone... No need to ask.
// Try to be semi-descriptive.... Please.
8 months ago - Via Community - View - Ian Sweeney : Here's a Thomas fanfiction called Ian,Thomas,Percy,and the Movie Theater. On The Island of Sodor, Ian...
Here's a Thomas fanfiction called Ian,Thomas,Percy,and the Movie Theater.

On The Island of Sodor, Ian has lived with the engines ever since he met them.

One Day while Ian was aboard Percy, He saw the pack working on a new building site.

"I wonder what the pack could be building"? asked Ian.

"I'm sure we'll find out what it could be". said Thomas.

Later at Knapford, Percy and Ian saw Sir Topham Hatt.

"Hello Sir." said Ian

"Oh Hello Ian." said Sir Topham Hatt as he patted his head.

"We saw the pack building a new place." said Percy. "What are they building?" he asked.

"The pack is building a new movie theater". said Sir Topham Hatt.

Ian and Percy were impressed.

"That is so exciting".said Ian.

"I agree."said Percy.

Later Ian and Percy saw Thomas.

"Sir Topham Hatt wants us to pick up something at the docks." said Thomas.

"We'd better go find out what it is." said Ian.

Later at Brendam Docks, Cranky was unloading some huge cargo from the ships.

"What could be in those crates?" Ian asked Percy.

"I don't know Ian." said Percy.

"Ahoy Percy". said Salty as he pulled up. Then he noticed Ian.

"Well Ahoy there me hearty. I'm Salty. Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Ian." said Ian.

"Pleased to meet you." said Salty.

After the cargo was loaded into the trucks, Ian and Percy headed out to where the pack was building the movie theater. When the workman opened the crates, Ian and Percy were amazed.

"It's a popcorn maker."said Ian.

Thomas arrived with food for the theater.

"Not only will it have popcorn, It also has candy,ice cream,hot dogs,and soda pop."said Thomas.

After all the food was delivered,The sign had to be painted.

"Can you give the sign a good paint job Ian?" asked Sir Topham Hatt.

"Sure." said Ian. Then he grabbed his bucket of water and bucket of paints and a big paintbrush and got to work. He was about to put the red paint next to the sign but he tripped and red paint splatted onto the blank sign.

"Well I guess that might help." said Ian. Then he painted the words with yellow paint. And then painted 2 light beams with white paint.

The Next Day the sign was finished and the grand opening to the movie theater.

"We now declare the Sodor Movie Theater open." said Sir Topham Hatt.

The grand opening was a success. People payed money for snacks and tickets.

Ian and Percy saw the theater and were amazed.They'd never saw something so exciting to see.

"It's fun to see the passengers so happy." said Percy.

Ian heartily agreed.
8 months ago - Via Google+ - View - Ian Ally : Just a quick update, have received this email from jayne, John Hall's daughter has sent me: Hello Ian...
Just a quick update, have received this email from jayne, John Hall's daughter has sent me:

Hello Ian

John's daughter, Jayne, here.

He's come through the op and is well. It was a long job and he is tired and sore but they have managed to remove all the growth without removing his bowel, which is great. He can only have water at the moment but is feeling hungry so that's a good sign.

He wants to thank everyone for all the kind messages and support he has received from you all, he really appreciates it.
With a bit of luck he could be home by the end of next week and he will be in touch as soon as he can. If there is any change I will let you know.

Best regards
10 months ago - Via Community - View - Alberto Miquel Blasco : Hello Ian,  this is one of my demos, have a great weekend.
Hello Ian,  this is one of my demos, have a great weekend.
Watch the video: Pretty Woman Blues
slow blues ballad
1 year ago - Via Community - View - Ian Ajzenszmidt : ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ ls *.f helloian3.f  helloian.f  newton.f ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook...
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ ls *.f
helloian3.f  helloian.f  newton.f
bash: ./helloian.f: Permission denied
bash: ./helloian3_64: No such file or directory
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ cd Downloads
bash: ./helloian3: No such file or directory
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~/Downloads$ ls helloian3
ls: cannot access helloian3: No such file or directory
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~/Downloads$ cd
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ helloian3
helloian3: command not found
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ ls helloian3
 hello ian
 what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 cold, 9 quit
 you input 1, so hot is applied
 hello ian
 what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 cold, 9 quit
 you input 2, so cold is applied
 hello ian
 what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 cold, 9 quit
 you input 1, so hot is applied
 hello ian
 what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 cold, 9 quit
 you input 2, so cold is applied
 hello ian
 what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 cold, 9 quit
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ cat -n hello3ian.f
cat: hello3ian.f: No such file or directory
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ cat -n helloian3.f
     1           program helloian
     2           integer input
     3           Do 10 while(input .ne. 9)
     4           write(6,9000)
     5    9000   format(' hello ian')
     6           write(6,9020)
     7    9020   format(' what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 cold, 9 quit')
     8           read(5, 9010) input
     9    9010   format(I4)
    10           if(input .eq. 1) write(6,9040)
    11    9040   format(' you input 1, so hot is applied')
    12           if(input .eq. 2) write(6, 9071)
    13    9071   format(' you input 2, so cold is applied')
    14    10     continue
    15           stop
    16           end
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ ls *.sh

ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ wget
-2016-03-10 14:07:01-
Resolving (
Connecting to (||:80... connected.
HTTP request sent, awaiting response... 200 OK
Length: 280996 (274K) [application/pdf]
Saving to: 'TheGraduate.pdf’

TheGraduate.pdf                     100%[=====================================================================>] 274.41K  65.5KB/s   in 4.2s   

2016-03-10 14:07:09 (65.5 KB/s) - 'TheGraduate.pdf’ saved [280996/280996]

ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ ls TheGraduate.pdf
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ pdfotext TheGraduate.pdf TheGraduate.txt
No command 'pdfotext' found, did you mean:
 Command 'pdftotext' from package 'poppler-utils' (main)
pdfotext: command not found
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ pdftotext thegraduate.pdf thegraduate.txt
I/O Error: Couldn't open file 'thegraduate.pdf': No such file or directory.
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ pdftotext TheGraduate.pdf TheGraduate.txt
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ espeak --punct -f TheGraduate.txt

1 year ago - Via Google+ - View - Ian Ajzenszmidt : ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ gfortran helloian.f ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ gfortran...
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ gfortran helloian.f
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ gfortran helloian.f -o helloian
 hello ian
 what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 for cold
 you input 1, so hot is applied
 hello ian
 what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 for cold
 you input 2, so cold is applied
ian@ian-HP-Stream-Notebook-PC-11:~$ cat -n helloian.f
     1           program helloian
     2           integer input
     3           write(6,9000)
     4    9000   format(' hello ian')
     5           write(6,9020)
     6    9020   format(' what do you want. enter 1 for hot, 2 for cold')
     7           read(5, 9010) input
     8    9010   format(I4)
     9           if(input .eq. 1) write(6,9040)
    10    9040   format(' you input 1, so hot is applied')
    11           if(input .eq. 2) write(6, 9071)
    12    9071   format(' you input 2, so cold is applied')
    13           stop
    14           end
1 year ago - Via Google+ - View - Ian Ajzenszmidt : ; hello2_64.asm    print a string using printf ; Assemble:      nasm -f elf64 -l hello2_64.lst  hello2_64...
; hello2_64.asm    print a string using printf
; Assemble:      nasm -f elf64 -l hello2_64.lst  hello2_64.asm
; Link:          gcc -m64 -o hello2_64  hello2_64.o
; Run:          ./hello2_64 > hello2_64.out
; Output:      cat hello2_64.out

; Equivalent C code
; // hello.c
; #include <stdio.h>
; int main()
; {
;   char msg[] = "Hello Ian \n";
;   printf("%s\n",msg);
;   return 0;
; }
; Declare needed C  functions
        extern    printf        ; the C function, to be called

        section .data        ; Data section, initialized variables
msg:    db "Hello Ian ", 0    ; C string needs 0
fmt:    db "%s", 10, 0          ; The printf format, "\n",'0'

        section .text           ; Code section.

        global main        ; the standard gcc entry point
main:                ; the program label for the entry point
        push    rbp        ; set up stack frame, must be alligned
    mov    rdi,fmt
    mov    rsi,msg
    mov    rax,0        ; or can be  xor  rax,rax
        call    printf        ; Call C function

    pop    rbp        ; restore stack

    mov    rax,0        ; normal, no error, return value
    ret            ; return
1 year ago - Via Google+ - View -